Week 2: Café Tacvba

This one goes out to La Vibora and Daniel Ortega (felicidades). And no baby yet…
Here’s Café Tacvba playing “Ojala Que Llueva Café” with a nylon string guitar, a tres, a stand up bass, and a fiddle to thousands of fans at the monstrous Palacio de los Deportes in Mexico. The title of this song in English means “I Hope It Rains Coffee”. It was originally written by Juan Luis Guerra y 440, a Dominican group. That’s it. Hope you have a great weekend.

Still here? Damn you really don’t learn do you? Let’s see if this helps. Maybe one of my deep dark secrets totally unrelated to music will deter you from further reading, and eventually I can stop writing and just show cool music and videos. So here it is: I am Extra Vertebrae Man. I know you’ve had your suspicions, well, doubt them no more. Carlos Anaconda and Extra Vertebrae Man are one and the same person. See, it all started cause I have an extra vertebrae which gives me the super power of being able to reach high places. Remember that time when that little old lady at the grocery store was having trouble reaching the top shelf high-fiber cereal, and I swooped in and got it for her? I know you looked at me and thought that the lanky guy in the blue tights that could reach so high looked a lot like your buddy Carlos Anaconda. Anyways, now you know. But there is more. Turns out there are more of us out there. More of us with an extra vertebrae. More of us with extra ribs, or low blood pressure, or piercing eyes, or red hair, or ESP. More of us with Rh negative blood, which means we don’t have the Rhesus monkey’s blood thing going on. More of us who are not descendants from the monkeys. More of us who are of reptilian descent. And now someone has gone out and sold all of us extra vertebrates out on a DVD called “The Reptilian Agenda” and a book called “The Stars Are Falling: Reasons To Believe We Are Enslaved by the Serpent.” The man expressing these false and outrageous claims is non other than David Icke (I’m sure it’s pronounced ‘Yucky’), you might remember him as the arthritic goalie for the Coventry City team in the English League. Well, now he claims that us reptilians are controlling the world thru politics and keeping other non-reptilians (AKA monkeys) in submission to do our work for us. Well, I haven’t read the book or seen the DVD, however, one thing I’m sure about is that I don’t think this guy ever even met the Chupacabras. And since many of the snakes I’ve met don’t get along and most of us don’t like Jim Morrison (but most of us do like the Monkees’ movie “Head”), I’m going to say that reptilians don’t all get along well enough to conspire. So I’m tired of the bad rap. Monkeys need to get off our reptilian backs already. So what if we like to hang, ignore rules, eat without chewing, talk to pretty girls and what not? What do you want us to do? We don’t have hands, well some of us do, but that lizard in that Cheech and Chong movie, he was a Hollywood sellout. Enuff said.
Oh wait, hell is for children.