Let’s see how coherent I can make this, shall we? I’m a little droopy this morning (more than usual) because—like every other day this week, a large creature outside my window kept me awake. It starts off just tramping through the leaves. Rustle, rustle. Then it makes its way to the hole in the grate that leads underneath my house. At that point, it does its best to wake me up. It grabs hold of the pipe that leads to the bathtub and starts to shake it. Thump, thump. Then it goes back out into the leaves and drags something back. Perhaps it is a mountain lion dragging its kill back to its den. I don’t hear any mountain lion sounds, so I get up and stomp around the bathroom, trying to scare the thing away. It is unfazed by my stomping and continues shaking the drain pipe. I kick the bathtub. This does something, as the creature then slowly crawls out from under the house—not exactly in the panic one would expect from an animal scared of my thunderous stomps. The creature rustles back through the leaves, climbs the tree next to my window and then stomps around on my roof. It is as if it is trying to teach me a lesson: “I’ll show YOU stomping.” Then it nonchalantly climbs back down, goes back under the house, and continues shaking the drain. I don’t take kindly to things waking me up, so at that point I redouble my stomping efforts, augmenting with some shit talk: “I’m gonna make a fucking hat out of you!” Finally it gives up the drain shaking, not so much because it is afraid of me as it is just done with its business—whatever that was. At this point I run to get a flashlight to try to determine what nature of beast this is, as it slowly makes its way to my bedroom window again. The flashlight is useless, though, because the darkness outside turns my windows into mirrors. Not to be deterred, I go into the living room to get a lamp, hoping that it will cast enough light outside to allow me to see the creature. And it does. There, outside my window is a possum. A possum who is not the least bit scared of me.
This week I went to the “Music Monday” film at the Alamo Drafthouse. Apparently these films are always only two stinking dollars. That combined with the sweet parking spot I managed to find just before the movie meant it was sure to be a good show even before it started. This week’s movie was I Swear I Was There, a documentary about the shows the Sex Pistols played in Manchester in 1976. This is the same Sex Pistols show that you see at the beginning of 24 Hour Party People. Though, unlike in Party People, here they point out that there were actually two Sex Pistols shows—a month apart—in Manchester’s Lesser Free Trade Hall. I’m not sure that this would have been as good, had I not seen Party People as well, but as a supplement, it was pretty good. And in the same way that the Erykah Badu interview made the last movie I reviewed in this space, the Howard Devoto interview makes this movie.
I also went to see Daniel Johnston play with his garage band, The Nightmares, at Emo’s this week. The Nightmares this time were a guitarist, a drummer, and Margaret from Two Star Symphony on cello (Two Star also opened the show). The show was sold out, so obviously people love Daniel, but I think a big portion of the audience was there to see a train wreck. They didn’t get it. Danny is much more lucid than he used to be. He actually engaged the audience and ate up the attention. Unfortunately, though, the music was close to self parody. He played his hits and acted “crazy,” at one point, raising his right arm and shouting “sieg heil.” I’ve read about his doing that on other occasions, so that’s something that he’s worked into his set. For some reason. I think most of the audience got the crazy manchild they were hoping to see. I was a little disappointed, though.
Pick your favorite album cover.
Finally, I hear through the grapevine here that there are plans underway to open an Emo’s in Vegas. I suppose if you can Disney-fy CBGB by relocating to Vegas, you could do the same for Emo’s. Maybe they will even pay homage to the original Emo’s and put in a carefully replicated stagnant pool. That would be awesome.
My dog, Athena (RIP), jumped into that Emo’s pool one time and couldnt get back out. I had to dip my arms almost to my shoulders in it, while she splashed and splashed the slime all over my face and body before I could get her out. I am still psychologically scarred by that experience.
And here’s a song for your possum problems. Carve That Possum.
That’s cool about Emo’s in Vegas now they’ll have another outlet for fake Elvis Sideburns – sell them with a straw hat and you’ve got “the Emo.”
Here’s my vote for best/worst record cover, mainly cause its Billy Joel, and the music in it matches the cover. Though this one is a very close second.
Personally, I really (without any baggage) really dig Daniel Johnson’s music. We did a show with him and the Nightmares once and he was really nice if a bit quiet and they did a solid and straight rock and roll show.
Personally, when Clinton played me “Hi how are you decades ago (!!) I totaly dug it.
So, I guess my point is I find the whole “waiting for a train wreck” thing to be as tedious as say watching COPS or America’s Funniest Home Videos; I prefer good music over spectacle.
Carlos, those are indeed great album covers and I can’t believe that neither of them made the list.
Ramon, I also really like Hi, How Are You?. But this show was nothing like that. It’s just, as you mentioned, straight ahead rock. I prefer the other stuff, because the rock stuff is pretty unexceptional. It’s certainly not something that a sold out audience would pay to see without the possibility of also seeing the train wreck. I don’t want to see the train wreck, I just want the good music. And this show wasn’t that.
Garage rock? cello? Not computing. I’ve never heard the nightmares. But that makes me kinda wanna see it.
Ramon: Dissing my shows Cops and America’s Funniest Home Videos? Have you learned nothing from me? That cements my notion that when i die you’ll have taken nothing away from my life’s lessons. And since Orion always says “i’m not talking to you!” even when we’re the only two in the room, well my spiritual heritage will be in my coat pocket six feet underground.
What do you mean not have learned anything…
Hey even if I do find AFHV a bit tedious I have taken away a very important lesson and that is that Bob Saget kicks ass. Plus I figure it washes. You can watch AFHV with Orion a million times and I can do the same with cartoons – kind of evens it out a bit.
And you forget that while to you there are two people in the room to him it’s you, him, and any toys he’s playing with. To you Buzz Lightyear or his stuffed animals are inanimate but to him it’s a bit different.
Wow, an Emo’s in Vegas. That’s great. I hope they can find enough chain-walleted dickwads who will man the bar and ignore you unless your breasts are made of salt water.
Breasts made of salt water? I’m laughing so fucking hard, right now…I can’t even type. Oh, Jesus…I’m watching the “Jammy’s” on PBS right now, and Joe Satriani is currently masturbating his way through one of the most candy assed versions of “Cortez The Killer” that I’ve ever heard. He’s actually using all of his Berklee College/GT3 shit(Dive bombs, incredibly fast pentatonic runs, whammy juggling, pick sliding)…this is to play Neil Young? I feel like I just sat through an entire church service only to be raped by the parking lot cries of “Move your fucking cars, faggots! I’ve got to get home in time for football!” You know, as I was perusing the album covers I started thinking “Oh, I wonder if they’ll have that Scorpion’s one…the one with the guy holding a beer with the dog and kneeling woman at his crotch. Of course, there it was, so, I’m gonna go with that one…although I must now find that “Birth Control” record. I’m surprised no one has brought up “24 Hour Party People” before…the only feature film about Rock and Roll that I ever felt really hit the mark. I really like that movie…all the other bios(Doors, Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, Elvis, Pistols, etc.) are just so awful. While beginning this blog, I automatically thought “raccoon”…I forgot I was reading about Texas, so “possum” hadn’t really passed through my mind. Large white Rats with Human faces. They remind me of the dog and the homeless guy who were fused together in the Donald Sutherland version of “Invasion Of The Body Snatchers”. Simply Amazing.
Yeah. Yeah. In attempt to make my comment more coherent, I made a mess…
I could have sworn your creature was going to be a raccoon, since apparently more of them live in urban areas than the country… Guess its the same for possums too. Did you grow up outside of Houston, where people would put Lone Star beer cans next to armadillo carcasses?
I can’t think of a more appropriate place for EMO’s to go than Vegas. ASIDE: When I first went to Vegas, I was there for a comic book convention related to a presentation about Warhammer 40k games… I hated the place, until I had escaped the convention and was walking the Strip. On a marquee in the distance I saw “ADAM ANT and FLOCK OF SEAGULLS.” I went into the hotel and NO LIE, in the lobby, stood Adam Ant. I went up to him and said Hi. He was nice.
I can’t remember too many shows at the Houston’s EMO’s. I remember the Lunachicks made the size of the stage seem irrelevent. I saw the Poster Children… Jesus Lizard I think. I remember the pool. At the time TRANCE and DIRECT HIT bands were making their rounds. Brutal Juice was a personal favorite. Maybe I was 21…
I saw alot of music at the Austin EMO’s, while I lived there for about 5 years. I thought my shitty Commerce Street Band opened up there for Crash Worship, but remembered it was actually the CAVITY CLUB… yikes. The CEO of that place was a real piece of work. Anyways, I alternated cranking my bass and killing the volume, because our set up was totally poor. The crowd was hostile, but Houston gave Crash Worship a better go of it. There was wine vomit everywhere in both places though. That stuff reminded me of Jim Jones cool-aid… just like the cups lined up at the village’s christmas pot luck at the school tonight. I had coffee.
Justin, if you ever go to the MAG on Congress, I did all the walls on Christmas Eve a few years ago while the place was closed. I did it in 30 hours straight listening to Nurse With Wound, because my helper was in love with one of the members or some shit.
Worst record cover not on the list:
see BAD here.
What is the name of the blues guitarist who plays the instrument upside down. She would sneak it from under her brother’s bed and taught herself how to play? circa… 50-60s?
Now I have to go decorate a cake for Electra’s 2nd birthday party tomorrow.
CHOW.
jesus…
SEE WORST ALBUM COVER HERE
this is as good a time as any for my favorite Emo’s story, not least of which is because i’m drunk.
One night after Dyn@mutt played Emo’s, we were packing out our gear. Next door, as you recall, was Club Some, which I will never forget although I never went inside because somebody told me a story involving doing coke out of a contact lens.
Anyway. Dave and I were carrying his amp, or something, and there was a line of people waiting to get into Club Some, and one of the lovely ladies said, “Look at them. They’re in a band and I bet they still can’t get laid.”
They were half wrong. Not the half I wished.
DD, that story is hilarious. Though I do want to see someone doing coke out of a contact lens. I mean, dude a contact lens!
EM happy birthday to Electra!
I almost picked that record cover, but I figured that handless lady doesn’t need anymore grief. whereas Billy Joel, well, not enough grief can be given to BJ. hehe, I said BJ.
I thought for sure it was going to be a raccoon too. I was pretty sure it was going to be either a raccoon or a possum, but the amount of activity had me convinced it was a raccoon. I mean, possums are slow and this thing didn’t sound slow. I guess it’s hard to judge how fast the thing is moving by the sounds it makes alone.
I saw Flock of Seagulls at Astroworld when I was 13ish. I think this was before there was a Southern Star Amphitheater. The guitarist apparently couldn’t figure out his complicated effects pedals. During their big hit, “I Ran,” he was supposed to play the one note that is repeated by delay, but the delay was not there, so it was just the one note. It sounded really awkward.
I’ve never been to MAG, but I’ll make a point of going there soon.
I never went to Club Some either. Did anybody go there? I’m thinking maybe it looked like a club, but in reality it was an elaborate joke, the point of which was to see how many crazy stories they could get people telling each other. To that end, they just stationed a couple idiots out front to tell you the stories. If that’s not what was really going on there, I think I’m going to steal my idea and make that happen here. Somebody should.
I actually own the Louvin Brothers album that is on the second page and it’s every bit as awesome as the cover.
We never ventured in Some, but after Project Grimm concerts, our bassist, Drew, was wont to drunkenly accost the prepubescent Asians waiting dutifully in line to dance the night away. He would say: “Drew drunk, Drew drinky, drinky.” For some reason, booze made him refer to himself in the third person. He would do this while pulling his shirt up over his head and flashing them his enormous belly. They were in terror. Ah, the good ol’ days.
I saw Steve Winwood at Astroworld…. That was how I started my love affair with music… I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
heres part of the mag mural
Thanks for wishing Electra a happy birthday! I kind of suspect that the handless organ lady exploited herself, but maybe I’m a souless witch.
That would be awesome if the handless lady exploited herself. Way to go handless lady, say I.
I remember a girl walking in to club some with 1 foot silver platform space lookin boots, enough said.
carol
I went to Club Some with Lara one night. We were the oldest people in there by a decade and we couldn’t have been older than mid-20s. I think we danced; I know we didn’t do coke off of a contact lens.
Justin, I have a critter trap that you can borrow.
-brannon
We have a greyish colored cat that ran outside and as my wife was trying to locate the animal she thought she had found it and proceeded to pick it up. She was just inches away from grabbing hold of it when she discovered it was a possum . That possum just sat there with it’s back to my wife not having a clue that it was about to be picked up by some human. Those animals aren’t very bright, but then again, neither was my wife that night.
Astroworld? Wasn’t it torn down? I heard they had awesome concerts there. Then they went to Christian bands and then they stopped doing concerts all together. That is according to my friend that lives in Houston. How could you guys in Houston allow a national landmark such as Astroworld to be torn down???