Sadness
People make fun of Technoviking and hurt Technoviking feelings. People say Technoviking not speak English good, even though they know English not Technoviking primary language. They say Technoviking sound like Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein Monster sketch from Lørdag Nat Live. Ja, Technoviking see reruns too. But Technoviking not sound like that.
People make Myspace page with animated .GIF and lousy internet meme. Technoviking not think lolcats funny. People pretend Technoviking make Myspace page, but Technoviking Norse and never make such gaudy webpage. It offend Technoviking preference for clean lines and sleek design.
People compare Technoviking to Michael Jackson. Technoviking not understand Michael Jackson. Technoviking not have plastic surgery. Technoviking six pack is--what is idiom? Real Deal. Technoviking not be upset when tummy start sagging. Technoviking plan to grow old gracefully and naturally.
Why do people laugh at Technoviking? If Technoviking cut, does Technoviking not bleed? Maybe Technoviking blood phospholuminescent like glowstick, but Technoviking still bleed. And hurt.
Technoviking come from long line of proud viking. Technoviking family mentioned in sagas. Technoviking great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather was berserker. Technoviking grandfather eat amanita muscaria and conquer Scotland every summer. Technoviking not have to tell you that Technoviking enjoy occasional mushroom and conquering Scotland too, if you know what Technoviking mean.
So please everybody stop laughing at Technoviking. We can all be friends. Technoviking promise not to show up on shores of your homeland with longboat so no reason for you to be afraid. OK?
People make Myspace page with animated .GIF and lousy internet meme. Technoviking not think lolcats funny. People pretend Technoviking make Myspace page, but Technoviking Norse and never make such gaudy webpage. It offend Technoviking preference for clean lines and sleek design.
People compare Technoviking to Michael Jackson. Technoviking not understand Michael Jackson. Technoviking not have plastic surgery. Technoviking six pack is--what is idiom? Real Deal. Technoviking not be upset when tummy start sagging. Technoviking plan to grow old gracefully and naturally.
Why do people laugh at Technoviking? If Technoviking cut, does Technoviking not bleed? Maybe Technoviking blood phospholuminescent like glowstick, but Technoviking still bleed. And hurt.
Technoviking come from long line of proud viking. Technoviking family mentioned in sagas. Technoviking great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather was berserker. Technoviking grandfather eat amanita muscaria and conquer Scotland every summer. Technoviking not have to tell you that Technoviking enjoy occasional mushroom and conquering Scotland too, if you know what Technoviking mean.
So please everybody stop laughing at Technoviking. We can all be friends. Technoviking promise not to show up on shores of your homeland with longboat so no reason for you to be afraid. OK?
Labels: Technoviking
11 Comments:
Actually Technoviking, the one you remind me the most of is Cirroc, the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. Like a 21st century version of him, you seamlessly combine in your fine self the oldest traditions of your forefathers with the latest trends in fashion and technology, and yet you remain so very humble to the point of being sad even when people make fun of your language skills which far surpass most.
So chin up, play some beats and your sadness will soon melt away.
Thank you technoviking now I have chocolate macadamia nut coffee from Diedrich's on my desk and dripping from my nose.
Dear Technoviking,
What is it about techno music that appeals to you so much?
Have you ever watched CMT? What do you think about Garth Brooks and Kenny Chesney? Aren't they real men?
Why don't you wear a hat like them?
Sincerely yours,
BBODG
TV,
is there any truth to the rumour that you have a day job with IKEA?
speaking of IKEA (should have read the last batch of comments first), this "honored chair" which ramon medina speaks of-does it require assembly? did you get an employ discount for it?
Technoviking not feel like Cave Lawyer. Technoviking think that Cave Lawyer sort of disingenuous. Technoviking try to be honest about who Technoviking is.
Technoviking not sure why Technoviking like techno. Technoviking do like repetitive nature of techno. It help Technoviking focus and get things done. Conquering Scotland hard sometimes.
Technoviking see CMT over at buddy house one night. Technoviking buddy have better cable option than Technoviking. Technoviking not understand corny folksiness of CMT. Technoviking also think adding fiddle or steel guitar to pop song not make it country song. Technoviking think Garth Brooks major problem with new country music. Technoviking have to admit that Technoviking had to look up Kenny Chesney because Technoviking never heard Kenny Chesney music. Technoviking try hard to control wretching. Technoviking wonder why nobody make music like Hank Williams anymore.
Technoviking work for IKEA for like week in high school, but Technoviking not able to fit in IKEA with dancing schedule. Technoviking not have anything against IKEA, much of Technoviking home furniture come from IKEA, but Technoviking strangely embarrassed by that. Technoviking not understand why.
Uh, Ramon, chocolate macadamia nut coffee? Did you put sperm in that? Jesus. And you speak of Vikings.
eye. No. i. No. I. Yes I. I am yes! I am doing it. Yes. I am not happy with Ramon's product placement trickinesss and futhermore I do not wish to be associated with the delicious macadamia nuts and the sumptuous chocolate and the essential coffee mixed together by Diedrichenleiners. I mean, I don't see a lifetime supply in my schranken now do I?
The 1st person Pronoun? Technoviking? I am calling you out as an impostor.
Who mocks me, the Technoviking? It is you Ramon. You see how difficult it is for the - I mean - me to come to terms with your grammar and still you give me, how you say? hard times.
I have half a mind to fall on you and slay you and bury your body in a snow.
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