Bad news, guys. The Technoviking stormed out of the door in the middle of putting together the podcast for the week. He and I are having artistic differences or a language barrier problem or something.
This isn’t helped by the fact that he keeps correcting and making fun of my inability to speak German correctly. Fuck if German isn’t a tough language. Did you know there are six different ways to say the word ‘the’ (der, das, die, den, dem, des), and that there are sixteen different cases in which you could use one of the six correctly? There’s feminine, masculine, neuter, and plural which can be used in the nominativ, akkusativ, dativ, and genetiv. This is just for the word ‘the’. I just say something simple like “der name ist…” and Technoviking yells back at me “DIE name ist!” Patience isn’t his first virtue. Having mastered Norse and German- by the way, he has no problems with personal pronouns in German- he doesn’t understand why I keep putting verbs in the middle of the sentence, instead of at the end. I said that split infinitives were bad form in English. Then he demanded to know why I address him with the familiar ‘du’ form when, according to him, I should be using the more respectful ‘Sie’ form. I explained to him that since we’re collaborating here, I would feel more at ease if we were on an equal footing, to which he barked something in Norse at me. I said I thought Beowulf was a shitty story and not applicable to the situation at hand.
He walked out and then came back in smelling fresh. I think he took a cold shower to calm himself down. We were doing fine with the mix until I wrote out a number of words in English on a piece of paper. The words were: tough, thorough, rough, thought, threw, ought, rouge, tongue, though, rogue, trough, through, throw. After he corrected me for not changing some vowel to an umlaut vowel for the umpteenth time because the word was in the plural instead of the singular, I handed him the piece of paper and said “Let’s see if you can pronounce these words correctly in less than 20 seconds.” This time he walked out and hasn’t returned for five hours now. I don’t know what else to tell you.
I’ll have to finish the podcast on my own tomorrow, unless he decides to come back. Züruck kommen Sie bitte Technoviking.
Bluebird, the technoviking just called me, he seemed very upset and was sobbing uncontrollably. He seemed to be repeating something over and over, eventualy he calmed down enough for me to realize he was repeating the famous tongue twister about the three sweedish transvestite witches and the switches of their three Swiss Swatch watches. He just kept repeating it over and over, Three Sweedish switched witches watch three Swiss Swatch watches. Which Sweedish switched witch watched which Swiss Swatch watch switch? Three Sweedish switched witches watch three Swiss Swatch watches. Which Sweedish switched witch watched which Swiss Swatch watch switch? etc etc….
My head is still spinning, so be careful if he comes back, I’m afraid that the combination of that tongue twister with his dance moves might be lethal.
Actually i think Technoviking is crying because John, who I’m sure thinks this whole Technoviking thing jumped the shark before it even started, will be blogging tomorrow. Nothing is sadder than a shunned Norseman.
Why must you treat Technoviking this way?
ok, so the technoviking is back in the room. it looks like he damaged his fist. he is ready to get back to work.
technoviking wish to quash blauvogel. heidi ist nicht so technologisch, can’t beat match and technoviking hate dissonant feedback guitar music. technoviking take some laudanum now.