Enjoy

Since signing on as a member of the NAP almost a year and a half ago (geez, eh?), I think it has become fairly apparent that I am most likely the knee-jerk heavy guitar fan of the group. Not that I am the only heavy guitar fan, mind you, just that I am most likely the biggest fan of the super-distorted guitar shenanigans such as the sort found in the ever culturally progressive format of heavy metal (I’m taking liberties, okay?).

During the relatively short time that I have contributed here, to varying degrees of worth (which have, admittedly, leaned heavily towards the morose, self-obsessive, and generally pessimistic), I have found myself falling deeper and deeper into a certain sonic terrain.

I have touched on this topic in the past, but today I would like to flesh it out a little more, if I could, as the importance this music has had on my maintaining this fragile grip on sanity I have been white-knuckling these last several months is immeasurable.

Once again, I am talking about the bands that have often been slapped with labels like post-metal, post-rock, instrumetal, art-metal, and several other idiotic and ill-fitting names. As is always the case, when I hear whatever it is that I like about these bands, I listen to it. I’ll let someone else conjure up some alchemical nonsense in order to put it away in its file for safekeeping.

Here’s what I’m looking for in this music.

And by the way, much has been made about the joy of listening to music in the NAP, and I want to throw my hat into the joy-of-listening-to-music ring. However, I would have to heartily disagree with the summation that in order to enjoy music, or more precisely, that in order to derive joy from the music you love, this must somehow mean that the music must be equally joyful or equally upbeat. To me, not only is this a terrible mistake, it is also a terribly simplistic oversight.

I’m not going to claim that there is no joy in inherently happy music, but I am going to say that joy does not only lie in joyful music.

In fact, for me, I generally find happy music to be fairly depressing. I see it like this. If you are the sort of person who has to write happy sounding songs, there must be, somewhere inside your make-up, some sort of boundless and insatiable darkness. Within jolly musicians there must reside a hatred and loathing so epic and grand in scale, that in order to not give in and drive a truck through a fast food joint, guns ablaze, these people must have to go home, buy a toy piano, start a cuddle club, and write songs that have no meaning and are simply an outlet for being bouncy and playful.

To be perfectly honest, if that keeps you from killing me while I eat my Big Mac, then fuckin’ have at it. I’ll just not listen to it. Cuddle to your heart’s content. Write reams of songs about the word “Yay!” and smile so much that your face doesn’t even hurt anymore. Knock yourself out. Seriously, if that’s your thing, do it.

It’s simply not mine.

And this is my deal. I am drawn to the sound of heavy (as in grindingly heavy), distorted guitars. I am also, as a general rule, drawn to singers who sound as though if they don’t at some point in damn near every song sound as though their voice is the only tool in their available arsenal to ward off the demons that come to call at their window, nightly, then perhaps the entire train has come off the rails and is hurtling towards daycares, blood in its eyes.

Those are simply directional signposts. I don’t love every single heavy guitar song I’ve ever heard. In fact, I don’t care for mountains of music of all sorts. It’s just that, as of late, I am a slut for slow, plodding, misanthropic, and generally ugly music.

In other words, I have digressed even further than I already had up to this point in life (in fact, I have done so to such a degree that I have even surprised myself).

Right now, the melodies ought to be subtle, maybe even replaced all together with muscle. The idea of harmony ought to be treated with an almost total lack of respect. And in the place of these otherwise common and expected devices, I am perfectly happy to bask in the glory of dense, bottom-heavy chords, weighty with resonant substance and patient enough to outlast almost anyone.

I’d tell you what it is about the lyrics in these songs that works for me, but to be totally honest, I don’t listen to them. And that is exactly one of the reasons why I am digging this music so much. I don’t give a shit what it’s telling me on the surface, it’s what I’m getting from its depth that interests me. And for the most part, that is that my life is an ocean.

My life is an ocean in which I am perpetually adrift, and I am lost within its murk with no sense of direction. That’s a fairly harrowing position to be in, so it’s nice to know that I’m not alone, even if it means that there are countless other oceans with countless other assholes drifting about in them, just like I am.

So, being alone can become an art form. You can have company, and you can share in your experience, but you are still adrift alone. Period. Accept it somehow and you will keep sane.

Some of you undoubtedly share in my love of these bands, and some of you might even share some of my utterly retarded and poorly defined philosophy on music. Despite my clearly high level of misanthropy, I honestly hope you do share this with me for a few reasons.

It’s nice to know that somewhere, someone is tied to you from someplace far below the surface. It’s comforting to see yourself in the world, reflected in another, in a sort of mirrored and multifaceted reality. And what’s more, it’s a pleasure to know that, despite my angered wailing and apparently tiring exposition on discomfort and emptiness, that I too am able to carve out a niche of joy for myself in this seeming maze of ignorance that I have made of my life.

Enjoy some examples of the stuff that gets me through this life as things stand today, a hot April evening in Houston, Texas.

And yes, that’s right, I did say enjoy.

















So, who are these bands? Well, starting literally from the top, here is the rundown:

Neurosis, Locust Star: Brutally heavy, and rather tasty as well.

Isis, Holy Tears: This video simply has to be seen. The end is truly brilliant, if not completely disgusting.

Russian Circles, Carpe: Three guys kicking your ass in grand style. They have a new album coming out next month.

Minsk, White Wings: Another Illinois band (Russian Circles being the first).

Rwake (pronounced Rake), Leviticus: These Arkansas boys are all over the map. They are also horribly underrated.

Cult of Luna, Echoes: This Swedish band functions almost more as a collective than a traditional rock band. These guys rock pretty hard, and I am rather grateful for it.

Mono, Moonlight: Japan's atmospheric entry into this realm.

Grails, Burning off Impurities: Bringing this blog full circle in the sense that after all is said and done, all the stuff I said up there about heavy guitars should be taken in knowing that few rules apply in my own version of reality.

So in closing, I guess what I am saying is that there is a certain directional flow to this stuff that I have been listening to over these last months. Most of the stuff is pretty brooding, pretty dense, and generally pretty damn heavy. Still, despite that, it is more a story of feel, of mood, of atmosphere that has guided me towards this music.

I haven't been this excited about new bands, and about music in general in many years.

I suppose there are people who will no doubt dislike this music just as much as I love it for numerous reasons all their own, and that's fine too. That's not what I'm trying to address with this post. This post is strictly about using the music I have been loving to express how I have been feeling lately.

Maybe a lot of this is due to my difficulty in finding the right words to express myself, and maybe part is due to the eyes that are peering from every surface, and ears impregnated in every wall.

Maybe you have read me here today for the first time. Maybe you are a regular to the NAP and thus are familiar with my writing. If you are a regular reader of this blog and of my posts in particular, I wonder what it is that keeps you returning. Do you like what I have to say? Hate it? Does it anger you? Bore you? Do nothing at all for you? Tell me in the comments section, please, because I honestly want to know.

I fucking love music. I'll be forty god damn years old in two months and even now, at middle age, I am all fucked up inside over the music I love.

God, how I hope to never lose that passion in my life, music or otherwise, because the day I do...

Anyway, that's not for today.

Enjoy.