I have never understood guitar collectors. These fucking guys who amass an enormous assortment of guitars have always left me wondering what exactly it was they were looking for. Imagine the idea of a guitar built in 1957 causing grown men to shell out thousands upon thousands of dollars in order to own one. Most guitar collectors are also players, and they are also probably in large part terrible players at that. Therefore, it’s not like they’re going to put these museum pieces to good use. I guess there is the idea floating out there that if you hoard enough precious guitars, this will somehow trigger some sort of alchemical mojo that will endow your sorry ass with magical playing abilities.
Not happening.
Every guitarist knows one of these fucking guys with their massive collection of vintage guitars, each one a collectible treasure. And generally speaking, none of these collector jokers can play much more that Smoke on the Water with their thumbs. On top of that, the ones who can play always seem to be of the Joe Satriani shredder variety: technically proficient, tastefully ignorant.
It’s almost as if these malcontents think that if they surround themselves with enough classy instrumentation, somehow this will make the owner inherit some magical ability to harness the genius that lies within their collection. Either that or they imagine that no woman could ever resist the charms of the Great Collection, and that all corresponding thighs will part respectively.
Also not happening.
Any guitarist who has been playing long enough will develop a certain taste for qualities in a guitar that appeal specifically to them. Some guys like years of sustain like the sort espoused by Nigel Tufnel in Spinal Tap. Others like the thin clarity of a single coil like the type found in the Fender Stratocaster. Still others fancy the gewgaws and doodads that have sprung forth from this our illustrious electronic age. The list of appealing intricacies and attributes goes on and on: pick-ups, neck scale, woods, tuning pegs, electronics, finishing, binding, neck connections (bolt-on vs. set in), etc, ad infinitum. Honestly, a good guitarist can make damn near any guitar sound good. When all’s said and done, it’s not the instrument, folks, it’s the player. The truth is it’s just so much easier to hang on tuning peg coatings than to admit that you play guitar with the same adeptness as Stephen Hawking on a trampoline. And let’s face it, most guitarists play worse than that. Hell, I wouldn’t mind hearing the old Hawking Shuffle come to think of it.
I suppose that part of my reasoning behind this theory is that for as long as I have been a player I have always stuck with the best guitar I could get my hands on given my consistently low level of income. It’s hard to be a gear dweeb if you can only afford a Fender Lead II.
I have since acquired several decent to good guitars over the years, but as it stands right now – at least as far as electrics go – I am stuck on my Ibanez semi-hollow body. That thing sounds fantastic. And to think that it cost well under $500 with the case. Not a bad deal in the long run.
I get the urge to collect stuff. I personally can’t seem to get rid of anything I have ever owned without some sort of elaborate ceremony. But still, as a guitarist, I find it hard to accept the mentality of these jokers who piss trou at the mere mention of an original Gold Top or a Fender this or Dobro that. Fuck that.
Learn to play the pawnshop special no one else ever wanted to touch and then we’ll talk.
Others like the thin clarity of a single humbucker like the type found in the Fender Stratocaster.
Not to get all guitar dweeb on you but, huh? Humbucker in a Strat?
So what? Gun collecters want to be better at shooting people? I love guitars, and surfboards, but I can’t play or surf.
I collect stamps, colonial Spanish stamps 1855-1900. It serves no purpose to do this except maybe focusing my collecting gene on something small that fits in one book.
As for guitars, I have two of the same. I’m convinced that the more a person plays a guitar the more that guitar adjusts to the person’s playing and the better it sounds. This of course takes a lot of playing that guitar. And this is difficult if you have 30 guitars and play a different one every time you play.
Sorry, obviously I meant “single coil”. Fixed now.
Anon, no, I didn’t say all collectors fit my description. Perhaps “most” is wrong too, but I doubt it.
Less Ebay, more Mel Bay.
For a very brief amount of time I trained to play the guitar. I was so in love with that I actually slept with it. But then, I just couldn’t bring myself to really learn how to play it, so I gave it away.
I have a friend with a nice collection. Well for him it’s more about old amps than guitars. He’s actually a decent player (better than me, at least)
In defense of collecting: I don’t think anybody thinks old guitars are transubstantiating you into the body and blood of Stevie Ray Hendrix. I think it’s equal parts nostalgia and just plain cool-factor. Sure an Ibanez Artcore is a fabulous guitar for the money, and will do everything you could want it to, but it’s like the Toyota Corolla of guitars. Solid, dependable, quality, but not as “cool” as a ’57 Impala.
I know, I know “Fuck cool” right? But having sat down with an honest to goodness ’56 Gibson goldtop, there is something beautiful and unique about it. The patina, the checking of the finish, the back of the neck worn down to bare wood. Now, I do not have 50 grand burning a hole in my pocket, so I am not about to go out and find one for myself, just saying I can understand the appeal. And don’t even get me started on the whole ‘relicing’ business of making new guitars look like they spent 30 years being played behind the chicken wire in Bob’s Country Bunker. That shit is just wrong.
i wish i’d discovered G&L basses 10 years ago. otherwise i probably would not have 2 fenders up on craigslist and 2 others at home gathering dust.
i just have trouble turning down the 1981 yellow gibson explorer bass with the scorpions paint job for $125…
physically… can’t… resist….
for the sake of its resale value (and general decency) i probably should have resisted making it fretless, however.
hindsight is 20/20 but DAMN that bass kicks a lot of ass. it shall never leave me. NEVER.
“-Stephen Hawking on a trampoline.”
Ha!, nice.
Still play my old Schecter “P” copy after all these years. When purchasing gear, I usually trade up to save money or sell something. That’s why I’ve owned only one bass.
I did own an old blue G&L L1000 about
12 years ago but it wasn’t the right fit. Damn, I should have sold it to Drew back then.
Also as a confessed wine snob, I once saw an article featuring a wine collector and his custom cave cellar. He had amassed some multiple thousands upon thousands of bottles of great vintages etc. At the end of the article, the collector mentioned that his personal consumption was decreasing to a few bottles per month.
Here’s what pisses me off:
If you have the money to invest in something like this then either sell it for profit or get busy drinking the stuff. It doesn’t last forever. The beauty of wine is that it is ever changing and mortal in a sense.
That’s what I don’t like about collecting. At least a well built guitar is a bit more durable.
Now that I think of it, my musical career has been one really expensive hobby!
It’s all Peavy’s fault!
it’s kind of like extending an orgasm. it’s so nice, make it last. that’s why people wait to drink it.
Yeah but I prefer my wines on the up rather than the down. Wait too long and you have a handful of dust