The last verse of Rod Stewart’s bodice-ripping hit “Do You Think I’m Sexy” has been bugging the shit out of me. It’s not so much the way he turns the song into a Capra-esque romance. Rod is an “Every Picture Tells a Story” kind of guy — his songs typically resolve into tight, treacly narratives (even “Hot Legs” doesn’t escape this tendency). And it’s not that the song is terrible, though it surely is.
Nope. What bugs me is the pure wrongness of the last verse and a half.
They catch a cab to his high rise apartment
At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meantHis heart’s beating like a drum
‘Cause at last he’s got his girl home
Relax, baby, now we are aloneThey wake at dawn ’cause all the birds are singing
Two total strangers but that ain’t what they’re thinking
Outside it’s cold, misty and it’s raining
They got each other, neither one’s complaining
He say’s I’m sorry but I’m out of milk and coffee
Never mind, sugar, we can watch the early movie
Now, I’ve never lived in a high-rise apartment, but I wonder whether I could be woken by birds singing well below my windows. And are birds big singers when it’s “cold, misty and it’s raining”?
Really, it’s bad enough that birds are getting all Disney the morning after a hookup. But the added details aren’t supporting the narrative; it’s enough to ruin a perfectly horrible disco song.
I’ve been woken up at dawn by cooing pigeons. Not a pretty sound when you’re talking about hundreds of them. It’s disgusting.
I was trying to come up with memorable Journey lyrics the other day – ended up looking up a bunch of songs. I never realized what a minimalist Steve Perry was. Also, ridiculous.
What the hell is this:
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night
That song is a rip off of the song Taj Mahal by brazilian samba master Jorge Ben. It is such an obvious rip off that Ben sued Stewart over it and won.
Yeah, I actually looked up the review on allmusic.com, which detailed the hilarious history of the song. Unfortunately for Stewart, he can’t blame the terrible lyric on Jorge Ben.
Ah yes, it’s the cumload legend song. Childhood mythology at its finest.
First of all, it’s “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy.”
And second, Wednesday, I know I’ve told you this before, but Heaven’s Just a Funky Moose.
And don’t you forget it.
Maybe there were balconies or ledges, and maybe they were grackals, magpies or ravens (none of which does anything I would call “singing”) if it was cold… or maybe he had parakeets. That’s all I got.
You know this is all just avoiding the obvious question!! Are you going to be preforming this at Next week’s Hootenanny? Twotenanny Trailer Link
Probable set list:
Maggie May
Da Ya Think I’m Sexy
Hot Legs
Some Guys Have All The Luck
The First Cut is the Deepest
Reason to Believe
Young Turks
I’ve constrained myself to Rod Stewart’s solo career. And yeah, Reason to Believe isn’t a Rod original, but I like it. At this point I’m still honing the songs, but I’m open to suggestions. I could still learn one more, if it was compelling enough.
Listen, “Hot Legs” is a serious fucking beast of a rock song. Hard for me to lump that song in with those soft rock hits you listed. I hope you at least keep the bass solo.
BUT if it’s sensitive palettes you want to appeal to, you can’t go wrong with “You Wear It Well” or “You’re In My Heart” which includes this treasure of a verse:
“The big bosomed lady with the dutch accent who tried to change my point of view. Her ad lib lines were well rehearsed, but my heart cried out for you.”
They’ll be throwing panties at you, they will.
Hurray for “Maggie May” but”Some Guys Have All The Luck”? Bummer! How are you going to make it through that one?
I always took “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” as an OK disco parody whereas “Stay With Me” is 100% the real deal raunch.
Touch of class:
Handbags and Gladrags
Ooh La La
In A Broken Dream
Shit now you’ve made me break out Gasoline Alley. Thank for that!
Oh sorry I just realized that you are only doing solo stuff. But really his Faces stuff is the best and just as familiar as his later stuff IMHO.
Oh, I still like “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy!”
For another seductive crowd pleaser, “Tonight’s the Night” would be good.
Take off that pretty French gown…
For some reason I am now in the mood for a Riunite on Ice or a Harvery’s Bristol Cream.
More seriously, there’s “I Was Only Joking,” which has a verse that always makes me smile:
Me and the boys thought we had it sussed
Valentinos all of us
My dad said we looked ridiculous…
“How am I making it through that one?”
Remember, nearly every Rod Stewart song can be improved by lopping off the last verse. That’s what I’m doing.
genius.