Pants are an Illusion, like Life

The lights are dimmed, the cocktail is at the ready, the toast is buttered... I am ready.

Rarely have I had a moment like this to do something creative like write this blog.

Let me give you a little rundown on my life of late. Two weeks ago started the weeks of sickness beginning with what the school nurse described as 'emergent chicken pox'. This is basically a variant of chicken pox, as my child has been immunized, at least his first shot. But who really knows as it can look like chigger bites which have been itched a lot, and that's what the doctor called them. A couple of days later my other son gets something like it, so there goes another PTO day. And my husband goes down, the aforementioned, Ozzy-like Artie. Turns out they both have some sickness from the chinese food, a food allergy we think. Moses' illness goes away in a couple of days, but Artie's last for 5. At which point, I get it, and Moses gets it again. This is obviously not a food allergy. I have had it for six days but am finally much better, but still can't eat like a hog. (A built in diet!) Three days ago, oldest son goes down again with our sickness. After Mo poos the most amazing poo (sorry non-parents out there) that is like a freaking soup bowl and on the floor too, Abe starts throwing up at 3 am. He's better now.

That same morning as the shit is hitting the floor, we try to find the keys of Artie's loaner car as his car is in the shop basically totaled and we're wondering if we can fix it or do we need to get a new car. 20 minutes later we find the keys in an unlikely place - a freakin miracle to find, especially on such a day.

All the while please keep in mind we're trying to hold down full time jobs and our new store is opening in just a couple of weeks so the amount of stuff we're trying to do is a lot, and we can barely get to the full time job.

Meanwhile, Abe is having trouble in his kung fu class and I can't even comment on what is happening there but the result is that a five year old thinks he's dumb and a loser because he's not good at moving his body and actually wants to be a girl because they don't get in trouble as much and basically just wants to be a different person who doesn't have troubles.

Meanwhile, we can't pass inspection because after two months the landlord can't replace a door that they put in the wrong spot and the chef had to have words to the head guy downtown. This will be resolved tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to learn how to do payroll and the taxes of when things are due are insane and I slowly realize this payroll accounting thing is not just something I can do in the evenings and weekends but is a part time job.

Meanwhile, I notice that sometimes the shirts I wear have my bra showing and it's completely ridiculous but I have no time to actually buy a new one of a different color. Curse Artie and his fondness of colored dotted bras! So as I'm shopping for food by myself, a rare miracle, but I still have to hurry, I see a section of bras coming up on the right as I drive my cart down the aisle. As I'm coming up to it I see one white one that looks like its my size, and rush and grab it, dropping a few in my wake, and continue on barely losing 10 seconds. This is how I shop for myself. This is what it has come to.

But the latest Avatar came out, the Fire season. And it is awesome. AWESOME. The whole series is terrific! The title of this post is from one of the episodes I saw today. From the swamp people. They wear leaves as clothing.

I even read a book - Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom. Anybody into scifi who hasn't read it, should, it is AWESOME. Great sci fi.

So Carlos, I hope you had a great beach vacation. Houston people, I hope you have electricity or that the lack of electricity provided some interesting times that you weren't expecting. Others, I just hope you didn't have my last two weeks. That has to be some good times.

This post made without courtesy of music. I can't even believe it.

We'll be opening next week if the permit gods are willing.