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Un-Armed39 comments to Un-Armed |
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Un-Armed[post deleted] 39 comments to Un-Armed |
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Copyright © 2010 NONALIGNMENT PACT - All Rights Reserved |
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I’ll put my music critic aside (you already cast away the adjectives that come to mind) and agree with you on other things -very moving, and touching. Is this the week of tenderness on the NAP? Let me say what folks here can demonstrate in that regard is pretty incredible.
I’ve had fans who have become overwhelmingly attached to the point where I certainly question whether I am worthy of the worth they are putting into my work. Of course you have to gauge the emotional state of the fan. In one particular case, the fan in question (who could gaze at me in the creepiest of ways) was going through a bitter divorce when we started performing the de Schmog Fairy Tale which is the story of a couple that fall in love, are split up by boredom and by a better man and the protagonist turns gay. So…
In any event most of my songs are of love torn apart so thematically I would never bet on any of it being requested on the operating table.
Incidentally, the fan of whom I speak was the groom.
i’m sure that it was de Wonderful Power of the Holy Word… and next to the Power of the Beautiful Music… this story it’s what happens…
Never forget:
Intone, O My servants, the verses of God that have been received by thee, as intoned by them who have drawn nigh unto Him, that the sweetness of thy melody may kindle thine own soul, and attract the hearts of all men…
I just threw up.
yeah, sorry, unspeakable – i figured this would have that effect on, but it was honestly what was on my mind and so i decided to just put it out there. that was the reason i didn’t directly embed the video – i didn’t want to subject anyone to it who didn’t want to see that sort of thing. i just wanted to write about my struggle in figuring out what to “release” into the world and why…i guess the classic “what’s my motivation” and “is it ready” questions that sometimes plague artists. in this case i didn’t really have anything to do with (nor really much choice) in its release through the creation of this video.
sorry it made you hurl.
oh, and mr. lost, that’s a pretty creepy story. in this case, i’m pretty happy being the producer and bgvox behind the scene and behind the seen for just that reason.
Crap, I seem to have dropped my pin…
ok, whatever, guys. i’ll stop putting my heart out there.
thanks, wednesday, for always having something interesting and constructive to say. if it weren’t for you, i probably wouldn’t still be there. as it is, i may go on my merry way soon…
Not much wiggle room is there? Never give up because of someone disagreeing with you. Big mistake. You put it out there, and as you say that’s all you can do.
Okay.
First let me say this. I used to be an active participant in this blog for better or for worse for the group of writers and the readers and the listeners. I enjoyed it. The NAP changed my life. I am no longer in a real position to give my time to the NAP (which may benefit this group totally), but I still read and I still appreciate the commitment that you all see through to its doggered end weekly. I appreciate your openness, your honesty, your opinions and your personalities.
Now. Here’s the deal, Kelly.
Its no secret that I am more than willing to raise my hand in objection, when someone wags an assload of religious dogma in my face. I don’t care what religion. This post wasn’t even thinly veiled. When you summarize each of it’s parts (the predictable public service announcement of a video+ the terribly afflicted child lifted up by faith+the inclusion of a piece of correspondence that was likely meant to have stayed within certain ranks of your personal faith) what you are left with is something actually very depressing. There’s no room for dialogue, unless you are sharing condolences or saying, “Gee! Life sure does get us down, but wait! there’s more! Not only is this the only knife you’ll ever need- We will give you this set of 40,000 more knives for free!”
I know that you are an extrememley intelligent woman who has succeeded in ways with science and music and maybe even personally more than I ever could. There is no doubt that you are a positive in a world of negative.
What drives me totally insane, Kelly– Is that sometimes you come off as a replicant philanthropist. You never seem to fail. And that would be perfect, except- you do nothing but succeed and gift the world with your amazing feats and contributions. I mean, seriously. Who are you? Why are we getting this bleached out delivery like we are the audience at some faith rally? Maybe its really who you are. If that’s the case… Man… We are totally different.
Its okay to have someone challenge you. I am challenged every day, because I am a loser who remembers the times I lost lives with my bare hands instead of save them with a song.
I just don’t really feel like you are humble, and maybe your best writing is when you aren’t trying to show your human side.
And what the fuck with thinking its okay for people to drive by with the scripture unchallenged in here?
Pass the hat, because it definitely feels good in here.
Awesome. I killed one more thread!
you’re right, john, i’m not giving up because someone disagrees with me. i’m giving up because i want to and it most DEFINITELY does not feel good in here.
and yes, c, we are very different. we can just leave it at that.
I didn’t get to finish reading the post.
I haven’t read enough of cherry blossom to know much except that she’s trying to do her best and has good as her best intention.
unspeakable I know to be the most outrageous speaker I’ve known in my personal experience and probably couldn’t be further apart from cherry blossom in, at least, verbal expression.
personally, I’d be happy to have enough response to have a comment on a post. what happens then is just part of the game.
oh and by outrageous, I mean awesome.
Unspeakable’s comment smacks a tad of personal attack which we have done a good job thus far of containing. Perhaps that should be addressed?
Otherwise I relish the blindsiding vantage point.
For one thing you’re using a proper name when the poster doesn’t offer it – that’s not protocal. I know some posters don’t appreciate that for reasons all their own which nevertheless should be respected. That’s privileged information.
And I question whether dialogue is important in this line of commenting. At least a comment could be worded differently so as not to expect a personally defensive reply.
In any event I’m not casting blame on anybody as far as why somebody chooses to quit –I think all the answers there can only come from within.
There’s no sense in Cherry Blossom quitting on my account. I’ll just refrain from reading or commenting on the blog in future, if my OPINIONS are causing so much distress.
As far as it being a personal attack, I only reference things that Cherry Blossom herself has presented. If you believe it was a personal attack, because it didn’t sound nice- well.. that’s not a personal attack. Its useless to say something like, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”. But its equally useless to say, “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.”
These are all just opinions. If mine is too much to entertain, then I’ll pack it up and leave you all to it forever right now. And that’s not a knee jerk reaction, because my feelings are hurt. That’s me offering to go away because I like you guys and I don’t want to be your ugly family secret, as you continue into the future with the NAP.
The proper name thing had to be unintentional, and it isn’t the first time someone has done that by the way. Your quitting poster has done the very same in a post no less. Hell, I’ve accidentally done it myself.
Why isn’t dialogue important here? Since when are anyone’s posts too sacred to touch? Mine never were, and they never should have been. Come on. This is overwrought and I think that’s fair to say.
unspeakable, i honestly think you bring much more color and value to this blog than i do. i’m the newcomer here, and i would hate as much as anyone to see you go. i’ve been ready to go for a while now, and the timing of this exchange just helped that along.
have fun, kids!
I didn’t think the use of proper name was malicious but it should be avoided when the poster doesn’t herself use it. I know it happens.
I’m saying that some commenting isn’t along the lines of encouraging worthy dialogue. If we get into topics of perceived personal traits I just don’t see that going anywhere but boring. I think you can find ways of expressing what you want without going there.
I hope I can say that without any generalizations since we’ve been having this discourse for going on a few years now and it’s certainly been good for the most part. And I do appreciate the effort those who participate put into keeping that going. It’s been good.
I would say the near blackout lack of comments in general in the NAP nowadays is more harmful than anything anyone actually has said to date. And again, the name thing was clearly unintentional (not just benign), just as much as it was when any of you have done it in the past, CB (and again, myself) included. It was an accident and a non-issue.
Using the name was an error. Though, I would like to point out real quickly, that CB links to and references her involvement in projects where her real name is available. I apologize for this error, but I corrected it in the comments section by removing her first name where mentioned.
Also, CB, as for me bring more value and color to the blog- that is neither here nor there, and its also an opinion. Like I mentioned within the comment that was deemed “outrageous” or “negative”, I told CB that I thought she was a very intelligent and accomplished woman, as I have suggested in the past. I will leave it at that.
One thing that I feel important to point out here, from my perspective is that there is almost nothing that is both more political and more personal than religion. If it is going to come up in an open forum, you have got to be prepared for people to have a reaction. And as I have proven here, I can react with the best of them. Again, religion is a highly political issue and even though there were other points to CB’s post- no one can deny that THAT door was open.
As for how I handle or carry myself in forums, you can consider me threatening, abusive, tactless, redundant, irrational, weak-sauce or whatever. I am not a politician, and at least what you see is what you get. I am an adult, and if the way I behave is disappointing to you… big deal. It won’t be the last time I disappoint someone for being myself.
Thanks for this compelling romp guys. My apologies for representing. Now I am off to terrorize the hundreds of other open forums I participate in. NOT.
Yes religion is a highly reactive topic and anyone who has spent any time here knows that Unspeakable, especially, is gonna pounce on it.
Anyway I said my piece regarding protocol. And again I don’t associate that with CB moving on. If that was all there was to it, it could be fixed easily.
I don’t fully agree that the current state of commentary is worse than what used to go on here. I mean I do wish there was a bit more engagement (I think). But a lot of the old stuff was tedious. I did love to hear from the Sparrow but the Left against Right banter would probably be really tiresome now especially since, you know, the Sparrow’s side is hurting so bad and all.
If you want to encourage dialogue, which you may or may not, then almost any commentary is better than none. It seems odd now to claim that you are happy with the state of the commenting in the NAP considering how much it has been lamented in the past that things have dropped off so much. I still read every single post and I try to comment as much as I can. I take full responsibility for what I say in here and I always have. I know full well that I can have a tendency to rile people sometimes, but as adults, and as public bloggers, it comes with the territory, no? Why do it if no one cares?
it’s awesome that you want to represent, unspeakable. please just don’t expect that it won’t hurt me when you call me names and don’t expect it won’t make me want to take my ball and go home. the things that hurt the most were being called not humble when i value humility so much, and implying that i shouldn’t expose my own humanity because it’s not good writing. justin basically told me the same thing (in a kinder way)…he said i need to write for my audience, but i’m not in the mood, nor do i really have the talent to do that. all i know how to do (or i guess all i really want to do) is say what’s on my mind the way it occurs to me. otherwise, it IS bleached, or dyed, or somehow altered from its authenticity.
basically you’re saying that i’m not being authentic. that makes me feel misunderstood.
but getting into it this way is tiresome and it’s much easier for me to just stop.
ironically, i agree with everything you are saying – i hate the same things you’re reacting against, so that just makes it hurt worse when you characterize me that way. you don’t know me. i’ve had plenty of failures – huge ones – and rest assured that if any of them had happened during the time i’ve been posting to the NAP, i probably would have written about them. as it turns out, i’ve just been enjoying a particular string of successes and payoffs on earlier investments. they’re worth celebrating, especially given all the sacrifices and difficulties and high prices i’ve paid. but this was not a blog post celebrating anythign or showing off anything. if i wanted to show off the so-called “success,” i would have posted the video 3 months ago when it exploded on the internet. this post was supposed to be about my struggle with the form that one of the “successes” is taking and how it only happened because i didn’t have anything to do with it. the religious part of it was secondary. but it’s part of it, and i’m not going to filter that stuff out just because it pushes someone’s buttons. i don’t think you’d want me to do that.
there are other forums where writing about these questions and struggles would be more welcome and interesting to people, so i’ll just take them there. no harm, no foul. then things can continue along here the way they were, which is pretty awesome, and i’ll go back to being a reader and sometimes commenter.
that’s it for me, too…over and out!
hahahhaah i thought that was all, but the irony here just made me laugh out loud.. “armed with …. nothing can ever hurt me” (central message of devon’s song)
FAIL
there you go! there’s a failure on my part.
i’m letting it go now.
carry on.
maybe sunday can be the day of rest on the NAP.
I appreciate the explanation CB. I think from now on we should just put skulls and crossbones by any day where the poster quits.
John – I do want to encourage worthy dialogue and I have always appreciated the thoroughness that you bring to your attention to this site and your site the Blind Butcher. I’d say it’s quite different than what you see in general on the web and that is to say that most commenting is glib and insensitive. You can read through pages of commenting on some web items and not get any worthy dialogue. I’m not saying I’m happy with the current state of commentary here either just that I’m not sure I’d want to go back to the long threads we had before –if only because we kind of spent ourselves on that and it would be futile to keep it up.
Isn’t this just one of those moments of growth and that if we move through, we learn so much more? It’s ridiculously corny, but CB picked up on it herself when her whole post is about what you put out there, talking about one subject, when unintentionally (sort of), what she put out in another way bit back.
It’s one of those things I consider a lot when wondering whether I should continue posting, especially here, especially as I’m no musician, and especially as I seem to talk about myself a lot and many times can’t get out of my head.
But people poke me, and I stay, and I learn.
It’s not just about trying to write something as good as you can each week. It’s about what you put out there, you’re voice, how you say it, and mostly how you interact with the peeps. The give and take with people like you, not like you, sorta like you.
And what if you do get a personal attack? What if it comes from a friend?
What if you ARE misunderstood? Don’t quit on that note. Good god woman, speak it so we understand. And it might take a few posts for us all to get it, but that’s ok.
Meanwhile some of us are still trying to understand unspeakable, who by the way should take over some sunday posts, if CB does indeed leave, just to do the right thing.
And look at Mr. Lost His Way – look at his name. He’s still finding out what it’s like to be an adult but apparently has at least found his voice. Or maybe that’s a song title.
Anyway, it’s one of those moments of pain that – I think – you should walk through, not away from.
thanks for your thoughts, stacey. i’m thinking.
While I appreciate CB’s comments at the end of this post and even find them disarming, I don’t think anything has truly been resolved here, and I don’t suggest that it should or ever could be. I also am not trying to turn this complicated exchange down one alley, while avoiding all others. If anything, I want to feel free to say whatever is ALSO on my mind here, all participant’s social skills and personal history included. I am not a one dimensional or insulated and singularly reserved activist, as Mr. Lost His Way intimates by telling this audience that if religion comes up, I am sure to “pounce”. What image comes to mind with that? An insatiable creature bent on devouring her prey for a purely selfish purpose… so that she may live another day? I am that creature only in poetry, because to be honest here- as much as I wish
there was a way to survive physically and psychically without destroying precepts, I don’t run this planet with the kinds of rules and protocol that allow such co-existence to thrive. I don’t run this planet at all. If I did, would we all be forced to endure the violent carnage of a primitive tribal world? Uh… WTF are we enduring now, with faith at the wheel?
I know that much is lost in translation. We all know that. We all choose to say what we choose to say, with that on our minds I think.
I think it would be a mistake for the nonalignment pact to take a stance that required participants to behave in a certain way. We aren’t total cretins here. We are men and women, and anything we say should be up for debate. I do mean ANYTHING by the way. Otherwise, what are you saying to your audience? Share but don’t share? Say what you want, but don’t say what you want?
i’ll tell you what I can’t handle, and the rest is just crap that bugs me, and may even make me cry to the point where I can’t watch the news.. but do I turn the news off so I can avoid dealing with the reality of what mankind is doing and witnessing and being a victim or even a champion of? I can’t handle the thought of losing my kid. Everything else is scenery.
You got me there Unspeakable –should take my own advice. I didn’t mean it as anything against you but as the consequence of putting it out there. Of course that’s part of what is tiring to me about threads going a personal direction –all the added clarification that is needed.
Turning off the news doesn’t mean harsh things happen. Sure, but I don’t think NAP commentary has to mirror the “real” world. Frankly if it did mirror the real world it would be largely mundane…which you could argue it is =)
reading a list of comments without a thread.
weird.
makes me both wonder why i stopped paying attention over here and glad i did.
Its all personal Mr Lost.
It is not a list of comments Mike. It is the thread with a frayed end.
You wonder why you stopped paying attention, yet glad you did, yet still here you are.
Why not post Candy Man?
Main reason I guess I don’t post is I’ve never been offered the opportunity….
I got my own blog, myspace, and twitter…
but if you want my thoughts on bob seger i’ve got an essay for ya…
I don’t know if I want your thoughts on Bob Seger but I’ll send you a more formal invite when back from Gotham anyway. I know the Butcher wants your postings too.
Look forward to it.
The Butcher would love stuff from all of you. I only mention it because Lost brought it up. I don’t want to intrude.
ok…
but I’m thinking an awful lot about bob seger these days.