Cut

Well I guess I’m filling-in this week as well but I don’t have very much to add as I haven’t gone to any shows or bought any music in the last week. I can say that I did manage to masterfully cut my index finger while trying to close a Swiss Army Knife last week. OK, maybe I had a few too many to drink and, given that we have one last rehearsal before our next show, it’s not exactly brilliant timing. So, cut and struggling to play chords and notes I will no doubt receive no sympathy from my bandmates and will, instead, be the butt of jokes. But that’s typical – we don’t really take things to seriously. I mean, our rehearsals…if we had a picture of card playing dogs and a green poker table it’d really be no different from what we do every week in the studio. Not that we don’t put a lot of work into it but just that while some bands fret about the usual band stuff, honestly, our biggest concern is who will bring beer this week.

So, in the spirit of LP4 self-deprecating humor, here is a repost of my LP4 Westheimer Block Party analysis:

fig. 1

A. Huge throng of onlookers bowing to our greatness. Clearly awed by our mighty rock.

B. What may seem like an empty 10 foot gap between band and audience is really where the time space singularity (caused by our volume) exists. Any audience member foolish enough to step too close would be sucked up into another dimension.

C.1 Not poor fashion sense, I am merely ahead of my time. Right now this may appear to be a fashion disaster but I am already told that Muccia Prada’s fall line up will be following my lead.

C.2 What may have sounded like an out of tune guitar to the common person is actually a rebellion against the oppressive wohl temperiert 12 note per octave scale. Fuck Bach!

D. Charlie studied with George Balanchine and here is putting his years of rigorous dance instruction to the test. This move is known as “la singe.”

E. Beer is what fuels this engine.

F. For legal reasons, I can’t say what powers this engine.

G. It’s not that we rushed our soundcheck and therefore Clinton couldn’t hear the rest of the band. No not at all, it is that his tone is so perfect as to cause all other sounds to be phased out.