Week 179: Calle 13 & Puff P Diddy Dirty Money whatever…

I guess Sean Combs is changing his name again… who cares right? I only use it as an excuse to tell you about this Calle 13 song called Pi-Di-Di-Di.

Calle 13 are huge reggeaton superstars and in my view well deserved. I’ve posted about them before when they released “Querido FBI”, a song and video calling out the FBI in Puerto Rico, and again, when they released a song about the police after they shot an unarmed man and someone caught it on video.

So I like them, but I especially like the challenge of translating their songs into English. In part because they are so funny, but also because they are so ingrained in, not only Spanish language, but in Puerto Rican slang and culture. So I wonder how much of their songs Spanish speakers from other countries really understand. Enough, I guess, since they’ve won several Latin Grammys and are hugely popular all over Latin America.

So in honor (or dishonor?) of Sean Combs changing names again, here’s a full translation of Calle 13′s song, Pi-Di-Di-Di:

(Lines in parentheses are in English in the song)[lines in brackets are my explanatory comments]

You can listen to the song here.

Come on in, come on in. Welcome to my nest
You don’t have to pay, I invite you,
This is on the house, you don’t have to tip me.
Today’s menu is the kitchen’s specialty
Killer meat and to get you started
Fried yucca with mojito [a garlic and lemon sauce, not the Cuban drink]

(“Do you have some Doritos?”) No, fried yucca with mojito
(“Do you have some Coca-Cola?”) No, but I have Perico wine [local fortified wine]
And quickly this guy turned into a brat.
(“Do you know who I am?”) What? That your name is Juan?
(“Do you know who I am?”) You’re asking if MY name is Juan?
(“Yo querer Coca-Cola!”)
Well, look Juan, all we got is Kola Champagne and Chinita [local sodas]
But if you want a little buzz, Medalla is your cervecita [local beer]
(“I just want Coca-Cola!”) I told you that my name is not Juan!
And that all we have is Kola Champagne!

And then that ‘preto’ [a familiar/friendly term used similarly to the way some African Americans use the term 'nigga', but without the derogatory origin] told me his name was Puff Daddy,
And that he was the Sugar Daddy of all the Mack Daddies
And he snapped back at me, with his big mouth like a megaphone
So I spit out some hot sauce and immediately he got on his feet.
And right away I told him he was a brat.

(“Do you know who I am?”) I told you my name is not Juan!!
And that’s when I hit him across the jaw, and he took off
so fast hat he was cutting through corners, with a bump on his noggin like Mamadou Thiam
And I chased him all the way down San Sebastian street [a street in Old San Juan]
Until we reached Cristo Street [another street in Old San Juan]
And that’s when I hit him with the Sixto, the Sixto Escobar [PR Boxing legend], with the one-two jab.
He went flying like a kite, and I got him spitting out watered down piss thru his pants,
And brown sugar down his pants, down to his socks came out the turds
Green olive turds, yes, green olive color turds,
What fancy people shit because they only eat food that costs $50 or more.

There’s a bunch of swine, I am no swine
There’s a bunch of hams, I am no ham
Even if he offers me a million bucks
I say no.
There’s a bunch of suckers out there. [a reference to when Sean Combs try to hire local reggeaton superstar, Tego Calderon, to be a model for his Sean John clothing line. Tego said no.]

Don’t think cause my race is small that you can step on us
If we can’t slam dunk, we’ll go for the layup,
And gringos like you can go, camera and all, to the Garita [referring to the 'Garita del Diablo', a guard lookout in one of the old forts where legend says several Spanish soldiers were taken by the devil.]
You don’t have to make an appointment, you’re guests [this is said with loads of sarcasm since the U.S. are still holding Puerto Rico as a colony, though on paper it appears as if we invited them to do it.]
(“Say cheese!”), and a smile and to the beach.
So the sharks can rip out your heels
Because here in Puerto Rico, we’re the most bad ass.

And after all that Puff Daddy returned to New York
A little stray, less of a man, with another nickname

P. Diddy, Mister P. Diddy, here’s your drinking bottle
So you can suck up some Puerto Rican milk
So you think twice before picking a fight
So when you come here, you don’t’ make funny faces, don’t flash any signs
That could cost you the hair on your head
So if you don’t want anyone shaking your ‘tabique’ [the nasal septum]
Think before you get into it with a cacique [Taino Indian chief - the original inhabitants of Borinquen, later renamed Puerto Rico]
This is not Mozambique, this is Puerto Rico
Here you’ll hit the pavement
And here everyone wears a peto [chest protector, like catchers use in baseball]
Here’s everyone is a mullato
Even if you’re white, you’re black
Here you show respect or you get stabbed [respeto means respect, but also sounds like it means re-stabbed]
Don’t rile me up, don’t make me say puñeta [curse word, kind of like fuck]
Ah, I already said it, my bad, but it’s just that the gringos
I got them going to-and-fro, to-and-fro,
And I bet on me even if I’m small.

******

And can someone tell me if this video is supposed to be serious? it seems more like an SNL skit to me, but I’m old.