It’s been a long time since I paid attention to the official American Top 40. I remember a time when, even if I wanted to avoid hearing songs that made this list, I couldn’t. They would be in malls, at drugstores, and spilling out of cars on the street. Now, though, I can essentially live my life without ever hearing a top 40 song. This seems weird. It seems like the reason things make that list is that they are popular and if they are popular I should be hearing them somewhere. But that is not the case. Anecdotally, this tells me that these songs are not as popular as the songs that I remember.
Just to make sure I have my finger on the pulse of the nation, I decided to listen to some of these songs and try to give them a fair review. Here are this week’s top five and my reviews.
Well, the first thing I notice is the Autotune, probably because I hate it so much. I guess there must be people for whom this effect isn’t fingernails on blackboard and they must be buying Usher albums. Listening further, I notice that the actual production sounds really low-rent, like it was put together on somebody’s home computer. This is probably will.i.am’s doing. I’ve never heard anything he’s done that didn’t sound slapdash. I could probably crank this song out in a couple hours, but it might take me a little longer to dance as well as Usher.
Does the vocal delivery remind anybody else of Romeo Void in the verses—I mean before it turns into a Hannah Montana song? Also, does anybody know why Ke$ha uses a “$” in her name? Is that just a transparent signal of why she’s making this music?
This sounds like a fusion of pop hip hop and modern country. It’s every bit as bad as I imagined it would be. I had no idea who B.o.B. was before listening to this and after I doubt I’ll ever hear anything else. The “featured” artist is somebody called Hayley Williams, who is apparently the singer for something called Paramore. Paramore, according to Wikipedia is from Franklin, Tennessee, a suburb of Nashville. That sounds about right.
We’re back in the land of Autotune, but at least not as obviously as Usher. This sounds like Coldplay mixed with Ricky Martin and a little bit of Ludacris thrown in as a marketing decision to make it edgy. Jesus, I never would have imagined there would be a market for something like that.
This is the latest offering from Mrs. Russell Brand and like most of these songs, it has a “featured” artist, in the hopes of picking up some crossover sales. This time, the featured artist is somebody I’ve actually heard. Despite the formulaic nature of this song, it’s the strongest of the bunch. Though, that’s not really saying much.
That wasn’t quite as painful an exercise as I had expected it to be. All the same, I’m glad it’s over.
I’m reading the Possibility of an Island and this is fitting right in to my new blackened world view. The Top 40 is the realm of thirteen year olds living in exurbs and farmlands far away from anything to do – thank god for satellites. That’s my theory anyway.
I hear this music everyday as the guy I work with is fully embracing of pop radio, and all without a trace of irony. I actually know all of these songs quite well. In fact, I can tell you that B.o.B. has an entire album of songs that sound almost exactly like the one you featured. Also, Paramore is actually an emo-pop band, if you can imagine that (I’m sure you can), and the featured singer mentioned above caused an internet stir when she tweeted a topless photo of herself a few weeks ago. Still awake? I have heard the entire Usher album as well. Several times for that matter. I pretty much hate it. On the flip side, I have become a fucking ninja when it comes to tuning things out. Also, I should add that the agony I have historically felt at captively having to listen to top 40 radio has dissipated tremendously, and while I still pretty much hate it all, I can at least tolerate it without being sent into an internal rage. Hurray for baby steps. You’re brave for taking this on.
I’m not at all shocked that Paramore is an emo-pop band. Just reading that they are from a suburb pretty much told me that they’d be some flavor of emo. And being from a suburb of Nashville, they have apparently absorbed bits of the new country that their city is famous for.
from now on when I’m hating my job, i’ll think at least my co-worker is not playing full Usher records. thanks john!
And a heady mix at that.
And Justin, my understanding about using symbols (Ka$ha) and misspellings in names (Ludacris, Dogg) is so they can trademark the name. You can’t trademark Kesha, but you can trademark Ke$ha. I’m not sure that’s right, but i think it is.
That sounds like it’s probably right. Everything about these modern top 40 people seems calculated from every business angle possible.