Week 92: Yo-yos

I can sit and watch a good typist type on a manual typewriter and get a soothing physical sensation, not unlike the one I get from watching a good pianist or a good guitarist. I can say the same from a good knitter or any number of activities that involve a precise and rhythmic use of the fingers. I get a feeling that is not just a mental appreciation of a skill, but it’s an actual physical sensation of well-being, almost like a good massage or a soft tickle. It makes me smile from the inside.

When I sleep I tap my fingers. My wife has told me so, as have previous girlfriends for as long as I remember. I’ve never figured out why or how, but I believe I do it during some of the lighter cycles of sleep as some sort of calming device. I also do it when I’m awake almost all the time, also I believe as a calming device. It gets the music going inside my head. And it feels good, my fingers tapping on a table or my leg, or a keyboard. When I type at my best, I do it to a certain rhythm of a certain music going on in my head. And it feels good.

From these it's only a quick jump to the pleasure I get from playing or watching someone play piano or guitar. But if someone had asked me, what about yo-yoing? I would’ve most likely said, no way. What does yo-yoing have to do with any of this? That is until last night when I watched the World Yo-Yo Championships on some TV station.

The experience was as if someone who had seen a skateboarding competition in 1971 and hadn’t seen anyone ride a skateboard since then until they turn the TV and see Tony Hawk on some X games doing a 900 several feet above the rim of a half pipe. Last time I saw anyone compete in any kind of yo-yo contest going around the world or doing a trapeze got applause. So watching how they've developed these tricks in some 30+ years was quite eye-opening. Yo-yoists (yo-yoers?) apparently have been as hard at work as skateboarders, bmxers, etc, developing tricks and techniques that simply put just blew my mind.

Here’s the current champion, Yuuki Spencer doing his winning routine at last year’s world contest.


The whole time I was watching him I was giddy with laughter and cheering like a little kid at his first rock concert. I had that same feeling I get when watching a good pianist or a good typist.

All the contestants were pretty mind blowing to me, even the ones that the commentators claimed were making tons of mistakes or not doing difficult enough tricks, or out of rhythm or any of a number of criticisms. However, Yuuki's routine was obviously a notch above the rest. Still, I am a sucker for flash, so my favorite was not Yuuki, but Hiroyuki Suzuki, the kid with the moosed up hair, the glittering tennis shoes, and the white gloves. Because ultimately I’m a disco kid at heart and this new yo-yoing seemed like just the best disco dancing I've seen in a good while, and they do most of the dancing with their fingers!

Hiroyuki Suzuki came in second place. Here’s his routine.


Both of the kids above were in the 1A competition which means they use one yo-yo with a string attached to it and the other end of the string looped around a finger on one hand. Looking into other categories I found out that there is a two yo-yo category, a category where the yo-yo is not tied to the string (so its almost more like a top), a category where the string is not looped around your finger, and other categories where you use one yo-yo and two strings or two yo-yos and three strings. It’s insane I tell you.

Apparently there are big yo-yo scenes in Japan (of course), Brazil, the Bay Area and Florida. Go figure. The technology has also developed quite a bit, yo-yos now come with ball bearing axles, are made of shaped aluminum and can cost of up to $200. Here’s the Samurai by SuperYo for only $159.99 (a $40.00 discount).

There's even a Yo-Yo Wiki page where you can find info on contests, yo-yoists, tricks, equipment and anything you may want to know about yo-yos. Aren’t you just dying to learn everything there it to learn about it?

Me, I feel like a kid who just saw Pete Townsend doing windmills on his guitar and now wants an electric guitar, too. So I’ve asked for a yo-yo for my upcoming birthday, and who knows maybe I’ll drop the guitar for the disco dancing music of yo-yoing.

Napcast - Duet

I've been noticing things in two for the last few months, so decided that this cast would be in twos, too.

2 Die songs
2 Reggae songs
2 Ethereal songs
2 old punkish songs
2 European songs
2 MTV sitings

#2 is probably my new fave
#3, #4, #5 are old faves but I just can't help but listen to them endlessly
#6 and #11.5 are ones that I found on MTV when I tuned to that channel twice in the last 10 years. I saw only two videos and it was these two. I had never seen either band before these videos, so I have to say MTV is a winner in my book.
(and sorry, forgot to put the title for 11.5 on the jpg, but it's an Outkast song)

I got a few of these songs from my friend who apparently has quite the same taste as me as I have been trying to put Song to the Siren on a mix for a long time, and he did it, so here it is.

enjoy


Click here to get your own player.

To listen to it in iTunes, copy this into the Subscribe to Podcast box:
http://nap.podOmatic.com/rss2.xml

p.s. my subconscious was trying to tell me it was time to post a cast last week and even went so far as to tell my body to burn a copy of the mix and get the playlist home. But then my consciousness took over later that night and told me, oh, I shouldn't do this until next week, thereby leaving a gap in the podcasts for the week. Stupid conscious.

Emergency Corn Report

Most people get their corn from the ground but here on the NAP you can get your corn from the internet.
(a couple of you anyway. Not much to go around. Most of the plants produced but some of those ears look like shriveled gnomes)

My apologies to Mr. Scuse but I felt it important to let you know that the crop is ready for harvest but what with the testing and the swapping and the shriveled gnome corn I can only let three go at this time and that's so little an amount of corn that I don't feel right selling it so I'll give it to you for the cost of shipping and handling which I reckon is two bucks and another fifty cents. So the first three to send an email to the nap address (to: CORN GIVEAWAY) and then come up with some way of getting two and a half bucks to me gets corn fed.

And btw, it's damn good.

And btw, there is no label because nobody entered the label design contest.

Another Idea

The Satyricon is a Portland punk rock landmark. It's supposedly where Kurt and Courtney first met, on a night when Nirvana opened a show for the Dharma Bums. The Wipers, Poison Idea, Dead Moon, and Napalm Beach appear repeatedly on a wall covered in old flyers in the back room of the club. It opened in 1984 when the neighborhood and city were rougher, and while the space’s interior is largely unchanged, the building’s on the new transit mall and shares a block with a large and well lit assisted living facility. The Minutemen were rumored to have fallen through the Satyricon stage and the bar’s owner to have been arrested for inciting a riot (not necessarily on the same night). Courtney was eventually banned. The club closed in 2003 and reopened as an all ages venue semi attached to the adjacent bar, Fellini’s, in 2006.

I won’t argue that the world doesn’t need more small stages for kids to see music.

My newish band, Kate’s Mirror, got to play there a few weeks ago and it was the first time I’d gotten to see the club I’d heard so much about. Because of the proximity to the transit mall, cars can’t stop on the small street in front so you have to unload a block away and schlep your gear past seniors in wheelchairs nodding in the entranceway to the old age home. We drank our free Hamm’s tallboys in Fellini’s, smoked and tried to hear the first band over the loud TV. You can’t smoke in the actual Satyricon either. I tried to watch bits of the first bands but if I can’t drink and I can’t smoke, I just don’t want to really be in bar. I guess a lot of people feel that way, the place was empty save the door and sound guys, and you’d have to get the door guy to leave his post if you wanted to order a soda or something. We used up our drink tickets and went to the park to get high.

About half way through our set our singer announced that ‘playing at the Satyricon is like a dream come true.’ He’d grown up in Portland and we’re his first band, but it must have felt a little hollow because the 15 or so grey templed people dancing with our lip syncing geisha didn’t evoke images of the room’s past.

I guess I expected kids. Drunk or sober, bored or disturbed, rock club kids. It’s like what if you throw an all ages show and just old people come? It kinda sucks.

All ages show’s can be great. I saw the Meat Puppets a couple of years ago at an all ages club and the highlight was definitely when Kurt Kirkwood pulled a 14 year old kid out of the audience to sing and play guitar on “Lake of Fire” . The kid was too thrilled to do anything but stand there and smile enormously. The Wonder Ballroom is cavernous and maybe a little soulless but I was able to drink and watch the show and have a great time. It might be that for all ages places to work they need to be big and feel a little cold, or they need to be small and illegal. And on a different night, for a better known band the scene would probably have been different. Monotonix plays the Satyricon often when they come through town. Locals, Danava, play there regularly.

We had a fun show and a good turn out for a Sunday night, but there were no kids. Except for Devon, the sitar player we’ve been playing with this summer. He’s 20 and took classes with both our band’s singer and guitar player at a high school in the suburbs where they still teach. I think the night might have been memorable for him and he’ll be thankful to Scotty, the drummer, who lied to the door guy and snuck him into Fellini’s.

Noah Scuse
Portland, OR

The Swan Song

When I signed on to this blog in what is fast approaching two years ago I was pretty into it. I appreciated the challenge of coming up with something music related every week that I thought would not only be readable but would also keep me interested. Obviously this sort of wish won’t always come true, but given the fact that life keeps going along no matter what you want to do in between the stretches of reality that annoyingly pop up, I think I have more or less accomplished what I set out to do. More or less.

In these two years I have probably managed to alienate almost all of the original members of this project, and perhaps have done so at the expense of my dignity.

As much as I hate to leave under what is for me a bad situation, nonetheless, that is what I am doing today.

I think I have perhaps said all I can possibly say in here without starting wars I have no interest in fighting.

The wars will be fought somewhere else, and hopefully soon.

But for now, it is time for me to move on.

Once the cheering stops (if ever), my colleagues can find someone who fits this project better than I do.

No doubt someone who reads this will gain no small amount of delight in knowing I am bowing out, so to you, you’re welcome.

As for anyone who actually cares what I will do next as far as writing goes, hit me up on This Won’t Hurt… and I’ll keep you up to date. My hope is to start something new that covers more than just music, since I can be an asshole on all sorts of topics.

As far as music goes, I am lost without it. I have discovered so much about who I am and what I care about through my love of music. It’s just that I would like to devote this energy into more, and lately this blog has built more walls than it has opened doors (for me that is).

So, I thank Ramon for asking me to do this, I thank all of you other NAPpers for putting up with me, and I thank all those who have commented on my posts good or bad.

And most of all, I thank the unspeakable for finding me in here. That alone makes it more than worth it, and I will never forget participating in this for that alone.

If anyone ever wants a guest spot, hit me up and I’ll throw one together for you.

Best of luck to the NAP.

And of course, fuck you all!

ihr stinkt

During Conor's exile to Bismarck (that would the one in North Dakota named after Otto von, not the Bismark of Sachsen-Anhalt)*, I have been drafted to provide you with your bi-annual German language lesson. It's an easy one: "Ihr stinkt." As you might have already guessed, it translates as "you (plural) stink." But, there is a distinct difference from the English pronunciation, with an emphasis on the sch-sound at the beginning of stinkt. Like this: ear SCHtinkt. Please practice aloud now.


Now, to put the two-word lesson into historical context, I offer you the annual Gemüseschlacht (vegetable battle) between Kreuzberg and Fredrichshain over the Oberbaumbrücke (Oberbaum Bridge). As you can see from this map of the Berlin Wall (1961-1989) the red dot of the Oberbaumbrücke designates it as one of the crossing points between the former American-controlled Kreuzberg and the former Soviet-controlled Friedrichshain.


One can not quite imagine the smell emanating from the Gemüseschlacht without having been there. I was helping the the Kreuzberg side (naturally, since I'm an American) arm themselves on Friday evening and they reported a munitions inventory of three vats of döner (gyro) grease drippings from the local kebab shops, buckets of leftover vegetables from the fresh-produce markets left on rooftops to rot for the past three weeks, and an unholy mixture combining the previous with eggs to bind them into a substance lauchable from a slingshot. When approaching the battle scene, one could hear it first, then smell it, then see it. After a disasterous incident two years ago when the police tried to stand in the middle to break it up and found themselves attacked by both sides, they now watch from the sidelines, and even helpfully redirect traffic. I tried to enter the frontlines for better photos and nearly vomitted.

It has been nearly twenty years since the wall came down and yet traces of the historical divide will remain. Generally, westerners ally themselves with the Kreuzberg side while people who grew up and were educated while the communists were in power find themselves chanting "Ost, ost, ost BER lin" on the Friedrichshain side.** Probably, the reason why the fight takes place here is because Kreuzberg/Fridrichshain has the densest concentration of punks, students, and artists in all of Germany. While the wall was up, rent control (presumably meant to keep people from abandoning the city while having the adverse consequence of causing the property owners not to invest or altogether abandon their property) was imposed in Kreuzberg creating a haven to a community of 'squatters,' another name for dissidents, artists and punks who prefer not to pay rent. I have not been able to verify this, but I believe Einstürzende Neubauten was formed and lived under these conditions.


For the past three years, the Ost-side has won the battle. Though the West was probably better armed, the people of the Ost outnumber those of the West and simply throw the vegetable matter right back at them. Here is a video of the Gemüseschlacht in 2005 with music by Pantera. Here is a different one of Linden versus Nordstadt filmed in 2006.

*Eigenlich, vielleicht Conor ist in Fargo, but that doesn't really help me squeeze a bit more German geography into the bi-annual German lesson.

**By the way, in my humble opinion, the Soviets really did get the spoils of what was left of the city by arriving there first. Mitte, including the Spreeinsel, Prenzlauerberg, and Friedrichshain were under their control. Potsdammer Plazt had been decimated and divided.

name that gear, vol. 1

When I was 7, my grandmother bought me a subscription to games magazine. Most of the puzzles were too hard for me, but I always liked the game where you had to figure out what was in the photos from close-up images. So here we go...

HOW TO PLAY

1. Name the gear (instrument/type, manufacturer, model) shown in the photo
2. Mail your answers to copernicus07-namethatgear at yahoo dot com by 11:59pm Eastern, Saturday, August 2.

SCORING

4 points possible per photo (100 points total possible).

* 1 pt for the instrument or general category of piece of gear (e.g. compressor, violin, computer)
* 1 pt for the brand or manufacturer (e.g. Peavy, Stradivarius, Macintosh)
* 2 pts for the name of the specific item (e.g. Peavy VC/L-2, 1846 Stradivarius, Macintosh G5)

If you've spent more than 2 hours in my studio and your name begins with J, you will be given an automatic 25-point handicap, but you are still qualified to play. If you have spent more than 2 hours in my studio and your name begins with another letter, you will receive a handicap at my discretion.

Winner gets praise and glory and maybe a prize.

Answers and winners will be announced next weekend. Hints may appear in comments if I decide certain photos are too difficult or obscure. Multiple entries will be accepted.


Item 1 [hint: brand name begins with V]


Item 2


Item 3


Item 4


Item 5 [hint: three letter manufacturer. **-48]


Item 6


Item 7


Item 8


Item 9


Item 10


Item 11


Item 12


Item 13


Item 14 [looking for the items that are NOT the bell & howell speaker or the kustom amp in this image. hint: custom made circa 1972]


Item 15 [hint: distributed by a two-letter company and guitar center]


Item 16


Item 17


Item 18


Item 19


Item 20


Item 21


Item 22


Item 23


Item 24


Item 25


Bonus Item [hint: i don't even know what this is, exactly, but it came from NASA circa 1975]

Satellite Hearts

This week, the FCC finally approved the merger joining XM Radio and Sirius, the nation’s only two satellite radio operators. Because I’m an XM subscriber, I’ve been following the whole amusing, convoluted drama for a while.

Naturally, I’m anxious to see how Sirius stars Martha Stewart and Howard Stern will get along with XM standbys Bob Dylan and Oprah Winfrey. But I’m most concerned about the coming monopoly, and the shrinking options I’ll face now that these two titans of the stratosphere have joined forces.

Take a look at my car’s stereo system and you’ll see what I mean.

Now that the only two satellite radio operators have joined forces, 16 million Americans are stuck paying 12.99 per month, with no choice but to continue listening to an expanded roster of commercial-free radio. Yes, the future is bleak for people like me…unless there’s…some way…I can reach…one of these…other…BUTTONS.

Seriously (no pun intended), this picture of my car stereo does a pretty good job capturing the key issues.

The non-existent monopoly

First, is there really a monopoly? Under U.S. antitrust law, the answer usually depends upon how narrowly the relevant regulators define the market. In this case, two agencies had to bless the merger: the Department of Justice and—because the merger involved two broadcasters—the Federal Communications Commission. Both agencies were ultimately convinced that satellite radio operators compete in a broader market that includes traditional AM / FM radio, Internet broadcasters, and even MP3 players.

The National Association of Broadcasters (NAB) spent millions on an advertising and lobbying campaign warning of a unified Sirius/XM company that could raise prices and stifle innovation in a consolidated satellite radio market. The NAB, of course, is a consortium of terrestrial AM & FM broadcasters. They’re not worried about consumers; they simply prefer competing against two satellite radio companies that are both dealing with huge debt and slow subscriber growth.

The merger is terrible for the NAB, because it allows Sirius and XM to combine their overlapping content and hardware expenses, and concentrate on attracting subscribers who are no longer uneasy about one of the companies failing. In other words, traditional AM/FM radio is worried about facing increased competition.

Antitrust is about abuses of market power. Anytime competitors join forces, regulators are worried about whether consumers might be harmed, either by decreasing choice  or increasing prices. But in this case, focusing on the market for satellite radio makes no sense. Consumers who think satellite radio costs too much don’t have to sign up. That’s the choice most of them have made, too. XM and Sirius together have 4% of the market for broadcast radio; the rest belongs to traditional AM/FM radio.

Even with consolidated radio, consumers have lots of choice. If I don’t like what’s on XM/Sirius, I’ll just switch to regular radio, or more likely, a CD. And because my car (like lots of new cars) includes an auxiliary jack, I can plug in my MP3 player without having to buy one of those dumb signal converters.

The easy availability of substitutes for satellite radio means there can’t possibly be a monopoly; not when you consider the broader market. For a similar situation in which the government reached the opposite conclusion, I encourage you to read about  the Federal Trade Commission’s unsuccessful opposition to the Whole Foods / Wild Oats merger.

The incompatibility problem

So I think the DOJ and FCC were correct to approve the merger, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t any regulatory failings. Take a look at my stereo again. Notice, there’s no button for Sirius. My car stereo can only receive XM radio, and that’s not going to change because the two technologies use “different compression and conditional access systems.” After the merger, XM and Sirius will continue to operate as two separate companies, and each will offer programming from the other’s service. New radios will be released that can access both services, but these fully compatible radios won’t be available for quite some time.

The incompatibility problem is an embarrassment for the FCC. In exchange for approving the merger, XM and Sirius had to promise to FCC they would finally manufacture radios that were capable of receiving both signals. The problem is, the two companies were supposedly required to create interoperable radios as a condition of receiving their FCC license in the first place.

But the FCC’s 1997 order authorizing satellite radio only required the two companies to “design a receiver which would accommodate” all satellite providers. It didn’t require them to actually manufacture a compatible radio. It’s a distinction lawyers for XM and Sirius well understood, allowing the two companies to lock in their customers and justify the significant subsidies both services offered their subscribers.

Now that they’re merging, the lack of interoperability has come back to haunt the former competitors. Instead of fully consolidating their broadcast infrastructure, they’ll be forced to service legacy radios for the foreseeable future. They can’t turn half the satellite radios out there into bricks. Which means the merger will save them some money, but the savings will be far less than if they had been compatible to begin with.

Totally

Oh man. You know what would be weird, Nat? I mean, like totally crazy? We should make a video for this song. I know, totally, right? But, check it out--we should make it all Bollywood, 'cause that shit is weird. You know, how they always break out into song and they have those, like, cheesy special effects? Well we should make a video like that! That would be so weird! Dude, people will freak OUT! It would totally blow their little minds. Can you imagine the look on their faces when they see this? This is going to be so awesome.



Now, that you've suffered as much as I have, here's a salve.

Week 91: Memorials 9 - 12

There’s the Blue Öyster Cult symbol, a combination of a cross and a question mark, painted large behind the twin bed were a crucifix once hung. There’s the collection of military miniatures, painstakingly painted and placed in perfect military formation, an impending battle. There’s the killer record collection neatly stacked on the shelves, the Ramones, Queen, the Stooges, MC5… The three kids in the older brother’s bedroom aren’t trying to find the secret answer to sex, they aren’t paying attention to any of that. They are sitting on the edge of the bed, barely on it, almost more standing than sitting, staring at the older brother’s little twelve inch TV on top of the desk. An Ozzy Osbourne concert is playing live on MTV just months after the death of guitarist Randy Rhodes. Ozzy is the Prince of Darkness himself and to these three Catholic kids he rocks. The set is a medieval castle, the band is flawless, and Ozzy’s voice is piercing perfect, Don't need no astrology, it's inside of you and me. You don't need a ticket to fly with me, I'm free, yeah. And a giant cross made of laser lights spins above Ozzy’s head until it turns itself upside down. The three teenagers stare in awe and they feel they’ve had a life changing experience. But they are just starting their lives.

The weekend in the mountains was not turning out like he’d planned. He had been wanting to talk to her since the last time he visited, and had decided this time he would do it. He had thought of every possible way a conversation between them could go, all the possible responses she could have to all the possible things he could say and all the possible responses he could have to all her possible responses. He had spent a lot of time thinking about this, yet he didn’t’ feel ready. So when they ran into each other on the sidewalk in front of their neighboring mountain homes, his tongue was glued to the back of his teeth and she ended up being the one that invited him to her house. Lucky for him they had a piano. He knew he was clumsy and awkward, but playing the piano he felt like he had something to offer, even if it was just a clumsy and awkward version of the Theme for Mahogany. And she knew the song! Do you know where you’re going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you? He wanted to kiss her and hug her and tell her he had always and forever would love her. But he didn’t, and he would never see her again, because by the time he was old enough to be brave, she was falling asleep on her boyfriend’s lap in the back seat of car speeding through the narrow mountain roads of the distant Sierra Madre range in Mexico.

Younger in age than the life she’s led, she sits in the little median-of-a-park outside Kellogg’s 24-hour diner in Brooklyn. She came on the L train from Bushwick to meet her guy and now just sits on a bench stretching her long sleeve t-shirt over her hands in a failed attempt to keep warm. Her guy is going to be late and she’s sick, so she’s scanning the bums standing around the door of the diner cause maybe, just maybe Frank will be there, and he owes her some. But Frank’s not there, Frank is shitting his soft bum diarrhea right into his pants in the crowded holding cell of the Union Street Police Station. As if she knew about the mass vomiting reaction Frank is causing at the station, she smiles to herself, and then notices her guy taking his time, riding towards her on a bicycle that looks like it belongs to his little brother. She asks him, have you listened to Vico-C’s new record? Then takes off her headphones and puts them over her guy’s ears as Vico-C raps, aquel que habia muerto de la tumba salio, y ahora contrataca con lo que aprendio (the one who had died is back from the grave, and now counter attacks with the stuff he learned). Her guy compliments the dope beat of the music and gives her what she came to get. She says, see you later, and heads for the Kellogg’s bathroom for the last time, feeling good about life, and singing along with Vico-C, Dale paso al rey de reyes cuando llegue a tu ‘section’, Repartiendo las buenas nuevas de ‘salvation’, A lo unico de lo que queda de la ‘generation’ (Make way for the king of king when he reaches your section, spreading the good news of salvation, to what’s left of the generation).

The Captain and Tennille were blasting on the living room stereo of my friend’s family beach house. I was on the brink of puberty, and staring at the Lynda Carter poster my best friend had on his bedroom wall. Not Lynda Carter in the Wonder Woman costume, this Lynda Carter was wearing a shirt tied into a knot in the front with her thumb hooked on the waist of her jeans weighting the jeans down so that her belly button showed, a really nice belly button. She stared right at me and I stared back at her and ignored the insistent whispers of my friend calling me to look out the window. Uncle Johnny and his new girlfriend are doing it on the hammock outside, he said. But I never went to the window, so I don’t know if they were really doing it or if it was just another one of my friend’s deluded exaggerations. They say your life flashes by you when you are dying, so I guess that was the extent of my life cause that is the only scene flashing by me right now. I know I’m only nineteen, but I’m sure I have more memories than just this one. My friend, meanwhile, is frantic and talking something unintelligible while he drives. He’s sweating and freaking out, yet I don’t feel at all like I was just shot in the head. I am comfortable, leaning back on the car seat and thinking about that poster and Toni Tennille’s voice, Before you ask some guy for his hand, now, You keep your freedom for as long as you can, now, My mama told me, You better shop around, aah-ha-ha, You better shop around.

Back and Forked

Day One:

There was no way I was going to pay an extra fifteen bucks to see some has beens run through old records I've never heard or don't like much. That Public Enemy record is ok but the beats are kind of fast and the production sounds messy. Though I don't disagree with the political lyrics I am not looking to rap music to shape my political insights just give me something to nod my head to or stories of urban life and bravado with some good beats. Mission of Burma's new stuff on Matador is ok but their old records don't do it for me. As far as Sebadoh I prefer the Dinosaur Jr. I have heard but not by much plus I hear that Sebadoh suck live. I am going to use that extra money to buy some trip instead just need to decide what day I want to eat it.

I was a bit worried about the rain but was excited to see Mission of Burma again. Fortunately the rain stopped before we got out of the car. Though Vs. is not their best in my opinion they are great live and by themselves made a previous trip to the festival worth it. That has been my experience the last two times I have come to Pitchfork that one set that makes the whole trip worth it and the rest sweet toppings. It was MOB one year and Sonic Youth's Daydream Nation set last year.

We were running a bit late and missed some of the opening songs which we could hear making our way to the park. Fortunately they played a few songs before starting Vs. They sounded great though they seemed to be concentrating a lot on the songs which prevented their energy level from matching what I had witnessed last time and even started the wrong song once before realizing it was not the next track on the record. Bob Weston handled the tape-loop manipulations and what not from a sound tent in the middle of the crowd. They finished the record and that was it. I was hoping for some tracks from The Obliterati but that will wait for the next time I see them.




I was hoping Sebadoh would be as good as the recent reunion show I saw at home. They played about 2 and half hours and included songs from after Eric Gaffney left the band , which arguably are some of their best. The selection of Bubble and Scrape as the record to recreate was not ideal but I was looking forward to it. Sebadoh managed to live down to their older reputation of being a sloppy live act whose internal animosity was palatable to the audience and took away rather than adding to the music. Having to go through the running order meant frequent 1 to 3 minute breaks between songs filled with less than entertaining on stage banter while they switched and tuned/retuned instruments. I left before the end of their set to get a beer before PE's set. The best part was when an audience member yelled to Lou, "Play that song that makes you cry" which if you know Sebadoh can be any of many. Eric still played the role of rock musician to a "T".




I was most skeptical and hopeful for the Public Enemy set. I never had a chance to see them in their hay day (IE with Termintaor X) and like many others PE and specifically It Takes a Nation of Million To Hold Us Back sparked my interest in rap/hip-hop. The wild card was how Flavor Flave would perform and go over now that he was this millennium's Step and Fetch-It courtesy of VH1.




The Bomb Squad started by playing a set of dub tracks and then PE came on to the familiar sirens of the opening intro track. I could not see Flavor Flave but could hear him which was troubling. He finally appeared for the 2nd track chastised by Chuch D for his tardiness. They proceeded to pull off playing the rest of the record and proving the music and message could still have an impact considering the size of the crowd and reaction. I was slightly disappointed they removed the piano sample from Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos but it was a small beef. They played on past the curfew and the last song on the record. Though they went the medley route which is why I usually avoid going to rap shows the song selection from Fear of Black Planet to their last single was good. The crowd did boo Flavor when he mentioned his reality show and he in turn chastised them for booing his success no matter how dubious.

Day Two

My friends were either too hung over or still wasted from Friday night so I went to the festival by myself early despite the rain. There was some eastern European Orkestar playing when I got there that were all right but it got too world music for my taste plus I was just wasting time until Jay Reatard came one. I found an isolated place to smoke (though it seems you can smoke anything wide open as long as you are not in front of a cop or security person) and made it to the main stage. Jay Reatard ripped it up as expected though it was not as energetic as the last time I saw him at a club plus it was daylight so I doubt he had a chance to get properly fucked up before the show but who knows. I decided to go check out Caribou though they are kind of boring while I waited for Fuck Buttons and the acid to kick in.

Half of our band of four either were not going to the festival today or were planning on attending later due to other obligations. Because of the rain we decided to head in late not sure how the rain would effect our enjoyment of the day. As we entered we could see/hear Jay Reatard do his garage rock shtick. I honestly don't know what the fuss is about but then I never really like the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion either. I wanted to see Caribou which had been recommended to me by several friends with discerning and similar tastes and my friend wanted check out a Hawk and a Hacksaw which I hoped meant someone was going to be playing a saw. Unfortunately this was not the case though they were pleasant enough if not forgettable.




Caribou on the other hand lived up to my friends' recommendations and then some. They have a great pop droning psychedelic sound executed by excellent musicians. They are led by Dan Snaith who used to record as Manitoba. I believe in the studio he records most of the instruments. He traded off between synths, guitars and as a second drummer. This was the first sighting of what would be on ongoing thread in a majority of the performers, extraneous percussion. I will make sure to not miss their live show next time they tour as I hear they have a great light show that compliments them well.



The on and off rain finally stopped which was good as the corresponding poncho on poncho off game was getting tired as was the feeling of being a steamed vegetable. The rain had caused some mud to appear and the requisite idiots/free spirits to play and cover themselves in it. An hour or so after it appeared the rain would stay gone in any meaningful quality volunteers started laying out plywood sheets, sawdust and mulch to the muddiest parts to allow those that wanted to not get covered in mud the opportunity. Early the next day saw a continued effort to drain the standing water in front of the concession area. These efforts are an example of some of the many reasons this is reviewed as one of the best run festivals. Cheap water, high quality, reasonably priced and varied concessions and capped daily attendance are some others. Over the years they have added concessions stands and port a potties in response to attendants' complaints/suggestions.

Caribou sounded better than I thought but that may have been the acid kicking in. Since the stage with Fuck Button was running late I checked out some of Fleet Foxes. Usually hippy dippy stuff like theirs is not my thing but this afternoon was different. Again it could have been the drugs but their harmonies sounded sweeter and more whole live proving there were no vocal tricks used in the studio. It got really quite during their set which was weird at a festival full of people. At least I didn't hear anything which started freaking me out to I headed over to see Fuck Buttons.




Next up was Fuck Buttons which I had only recently started listening to but whose record Street Horrrsing quickly grew on me. I expected them to quite the contrast to the Fleet Foxes set which I had enjoyed right before. I really like the Fleet Foxes EP and was happy to hear their harmonies were the real deal and will make sure to check out the full records just released. I am not a big electronic music fan but occasionally something will cross my radar I enjoy. The Fuck Buttons record reminds me of one of my favorite records, No Pussyfooting. They take simple looped samples and layer then on building and building throwing in odd sounds and heavily distorted vocals which comprise their sonic pallet. Unfortunately electronics laptop acts are usually boring live unless augmented by visuals, smoke, etc. Their set was enjoyable and they put in some effort to not just stand and hit buttons. They brought out a floor tom which they banged on for percussion and traded off on 'vocals' which looked to be feeding through an old fischer price tape recorder. I also thought I saw a gameboy being used which I thought was great. They also had a cool laptop cover. I expect their set at the ATP festival in NY this September to fill in some of the stuff I felt missing like a louder sound and some visuals. My friend who was not familiar with them enjoyed the set.






Fuck Buttons blew my mind so I had to find a tree to sit under after to catch my snap. I wanted to catch some of Dizzee Rascal but when I got over there I had a harder time than usual understanding the lyrics because of his accent. I wandered around the merchandise booth, craft fair, record fair and poster convention which all had cool stuff. I had the best lemon/lime paleta ever and headed over to hear what all the fuss was over Vampire Weekend.

As expected Vampire Weekend's set colored me unimpressed. I had only heard a few of their songs before and found them quite forgettable. The upper West Soweto sound is nothing to write home about though I guess I can understand their appeal to the indie crowd who maybe unfamiliar with any non western sounds they have not been beat over the head with. Though the point was argued they were different acts not to be compared, Extra Golden's set was a much better representation of African pop inspired songwriting. Though not a revelation Extra Golden's set was tight and enjoyable enough to make me seek out their recorded material.



I got up close to check out !!! who I never heard but read a lot about. The three songs I heard were ok but I did not find them as infectious as those around me dancing like crazy. They are spirited performers but just did nothing for me. I headed over to see Atlas Sound forgoing the earnest rocking of the Hold Steady, another group who I think are all right but others seem to really enjoy.

Though I knew Atlas Sound was Deerhunter's Bradford Cox's side project I thought it was a band and not just him. I believe he only recently started playing this material solo and mumbled something about it before starting to play guitar in front of a table with I am assuming a sequencer and a keyboard. I really like the Atlas Sound record Let The Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel and Bradford was able to pull it off by himself. I cannot wait for the new Deerhunter record but in the meantime will have to check out his blog to see what he has been recording lately.

The Atlas Sound set was cool though I wished I had seen some shows with the Atlas Sound Group. Didn't matter because Brad's songs are so good they sound just fine when it is only him playing it. Plus he looks healthier than last time I saw Deerhunter.



No Age were not as good live as I hoped but played well enough to make me want to hear more. It is always hit or miss with lo fi bands but I really liked their last record Nouns. Being associated with a scene usually doesn't bode well either but they represented the scene surrounding the Smell club in LA well. Their set was high energy and a little sloppy but that served the music. I would imagine seeing them in a club would make it more enjoyable. Fellow Smell scenesters from Abe Vigoda joined them onstage.

No Age were great but not as good as when I saw them at that warehouse party with everyone crowded around them. I thought I heard one of Panda Bear's solo songs coming from the Animal Collective stage so I ran over there. Their light show was cool. They played one song I have not heard of recent bootlegs so it must be another unreleased new song but who knows with all the stuff they put out.

I could hear a Panda Bear solo track (Comfy in Nautica) which dragged me from No Age's set. This was the third time in a little over year I have seen Animal Collective so I thought I would maybe be bored. This was not the case. For some reason they seem to inspire child like abandon in their crowds which are surprisingly a diverse group. Almost visible was the usual cycle of reactions of those seeing them live for the first time. It is a process of being disappointed they don't sound like they did on Feels or Sung Tongs leading to discovering what they are producing is a proto-percussive sound including their voices as samples that though not immediately arresting eventually grows into a hypnotic trance. Plus Panda Bear whales on drum pads and actual snares and toms to add the extra percussion that is big with the kids these days.



I got lost trying to get home and could not find my friends. I spent most of the night wandering around which was probably not the best thing in my condition but still fun. I found enough money in my pocket to get a cab back to my friend's place and found them still up and partying.

Hanging out the back porch of our host's house was the best way to recap all we had seen each day and get to know each other better. Funny how the older you get the less you need visceral/chemical stimulus to make a evening memorable. In my case the font of visceral and chemically induced stimuli and memories should last me for quite a while.



Day Three

Though I was mistaken as to the amount of players in Mahjongg their set was quite enjoyable. They did manage to merge a dancey vibe with prog elements I quite enjoyed. They also had a cool laptop cover and guy hitting a tom for extra percussion.



Times New Viking sounded good and noisy. My head was hurting from drinking PBR all night and morning but I needed something to help me catch a few hours of sleep. Sleep is what I wanted to do hearing the Dirty Projectors. Someone should kick their asses for ruining Black Flag songs. Thank god for Boris who washed that crap out of my ears.

We endured a few songs by the Dirty Projectors. Though I enjoyed the concept of re-imagining Black Flag songs the recorded end result was not as appealing. Live it was more fey and annoying than recorded. Watching Tim from Les Savy Fav giving massages was more interesting.



This year's token metal act was Boris who were much better that last year's entry Mastadon. Whereas Mastadon's set was all right Boris' set lived up to the expectations of the first large crowd of the sunny and hot day. The use of a gong , ebow, double necked guitar as well as watching their diminutive female bass player play fiercely in front of amps twice her size all added to their metal cred which lives up to being named after a Melvin's record.

Boris shredded enough said. Once of the best metal bands today.



Another blog buzz band was Health who are also from The Smell scene in LA. I was not too familiar with them but they came recommended via some snot nosed punk kids in a local punk noise outfit who are entertaining. A new acquaintance of mine perfectly described them as having all the traits in music he enjoys: energy, noise and rhythm. I quite enjoyed their set and hope their recorded output is not too different from the live presentation plus they had guys banging on floor toms and snares amongst other things despite having a really good drummer who played like Animal.



Health were so good. They were the one Smell band I had yet to see live and they did not disappoint. They were a good warm up for Les Savy Fav. Tim wore a one leg spandex one piece and put on a cloak and Sherlock Holmes cap before climbing into a trash can that was hoisted above and over the crowd. He was yelling he was Oscar the grouch the whole time. Classic Les Savy Fav.

I went over to check out King Khan and the Shrines who played a set of straight ahead garage rock and rockabilly tinged set. He is an energetic front man whose uniformed band included strong horn players and a cheerleader. Best quote from the crowd, "I saw King Khan's nuts!".



I caught M Ward's boring set via the monitors while I picked out a good spot for the The Dodos. Their record Visiter is one of my favorites this year. It mixes simple song writing with folk aesthetics and adds percussive elements and sonic flourishes. This was probably one of the largest crowds they have played to and seemed to go over well but to be honest I did not notice as I was too into silently signing along and doing by version of dancing/jumping along to the music. I was glad to hear my new acquaintance enjoyed them enough to pick up the record. They also had some aluminum inverted drum they used for added percussive flair.



I went over to catch Ghostface Killah & Raekwon. Though nothing can compare to the whole Wu Tang Clan together they put on a good set that kept my head moving. I made my way over to Spiritualized to see what the fuss was about. My friend's older brother who got us the trip said that they were one of his favorite bands and really psychedelic. Usually when some old fart says that it means noodling guitar solos and songs about space or fairies. These guys weren't half bad despite all the Jesus references I heard.

After a quick beer run I ran back to keep the good spot to see Spiritualized. I recognized some of their numerous lights already set up during the Dodos' set but wondered why since they would playing well before dark. I forgot about that until I saw some rotating about in time to the music guess they wanted to practice queues, etc. As always Spaceman and company played a great set with songs from the new records Songs in A&E as well as from Lazer Guided Melodies and Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space. I cannot wait to see them and their light show at home in a smaller venue in September.



I tried to catch some of Bon Iver who I had a keen interest in seeing but could not find a decent spot to see and hear. To say Dinosaur Jr. was boring was an understatement. I have seen them since they reunited and thought they played well but I think that was all I wanted to hear from them for while. Their newer material is basically picking up where they left off in the 90's and their stiff stage presence doesn't help. I has similar problems with Spoon. The last few times I have seen them live were OK but their newer recorded stuff doesn't hit me like their older tunes. I think I saw them at small clubs too many times to ever enjoy them as much on a larger stage.



I wandered around but could not stand any of the acts that were playing and Cut Copy were late getting there. I heard they played during Spoon's set but I had left already. Next year I maybe will go to Bonaroo instead since I hear there are more bands and drugs but I don't know if I or any of my friends can afford it. Depending on the line up next year I may be back.

As expected I had a great time with the added bonus of being able to share it with old and new friends. Almost certain I will be back next year as I expect the line up will be as good if not better than this year.

Blurry Photo Credits: Me and I filched one from Flickr and one from Pitchfork.

Thanks for the guest posting spot it was a much better than doing work.

Ya Dumb Swedes

First off, sorry for posting late today, my home is a madhouse. Cycles. Sometimes we just have to let gravity have its way.

Last Thursday I attended the At the Gates show at Warehouse Live with my soon to be departing friend, Chris. At the Gates is a celebrated death metal band from Gothenburg, Sweden, whose album, Slaughter of the Soul, is both a landmark for not only Swedish metal but for metal in general.

Me, I had always known of ATG, but never actually became familiar with their music. For my ears, most of my knowledge of death metal centered almost exclusively on Tampa, Florida, and its host of Satanic acts like Deicide, Death, and Morbid Angel. That’s not a bad place to hone ones ears, but to be sure, there is a whole world of other stuff out there just as good and often much better. ATG is one such band.

What ATG did was take the brutal power and blazing speed of death and add a more melodic sound to the guitars without ever having it reduce itself to the relative ease of shambolic pop posture.

I’m so glad I got into these guys because based entirely on Slaughter of the Soul, coupled with seeing their ten-year reunion show Thursday, I now realize their importance in the world of metal.

Decibel magazine, the monthly bible of all things extreme metal, put on the show, and their selection of bands for the lineup made for a well-rounded and entertaining night throughout.

Opening was what is virtually a one-man-band titled Toxic Holocaust. TH is your basic Motorhead knockoff, and honestly, what they lacked in originality they easily made up in effectiveness. No, TH was not pretty, but it was pretty fun, and that’s all I needed.

Next up was Richmond, Virginia’s own, Municipal Waste. MW are at the forefront of the current thrash revival that seems to have taken over the world of metal recently. Remember when DRI suddenly lost it and decided to go all metal with their practically infamous album, Crossover? If you do, then you probably also remember the way some people acted as though crimes against humanity had been perpetrated in that blasphemous period in hardcore history.

Of course now, looking back, while listening to Municipal Waste, it’s hard to understand what the problem was. Municipal Waste is simply amazing. And they have also reminded me what it was that was so great about bands like Slayer and DRI in the first place. And as for their live show, they fucking smoked. They were loud but not painful and they rocked as hard as you could ever hope them to. Best of all, the guitarist had a custom built guitar shaped like the M from the Municipal Waste logo. Pure genius. My only complaint was that they could have played maybe two or three more songs. Oh well, leave ‘em wanting is a good thing too when I think about it.

Next up was a band from DC called Darkest Hour. These guys have actually been around for ten years, which by the looks of some of them would mean they started out in diapers. DH is basically a metalcore band, which is to say they have taken the mentality of hardcore a-la overly serious crossover era and added the muscle and extreme technical proficiency of technical thrash. The problem is, as is the case with almost all the metalcore bands I have heard: they are boring. At first I was actually getting into Darkest Hour. They are heavy as fuck and they don’t mess around with their ability to pull off insanely technical stuff; but seriously, after a while, who really gives a shit? Write good material. If I want technique without songwriting ability and want to be amused I’ll catch Mr. Bungle or some such shit, and I don’t care for them much either. Actually, the final nail in the DH coffin was the use of the crates they hauled up on stage. These looked like speaker boxes or huge monitors. As it turned out, they were used for the sole purpose of posing. Yeah, posing. The band members would stand on these two boxes and strike manly metal poses as if the entire world depended on this retarded level of determination. It doesn’t. The killer was the foot prints painted on the top of the boxes so the boys would know where to put their feet as they posed. Gay.

When I went and saw At the Drive In many years ago I was ridiculously underwhelmed at their live show. All that jumping around and overdramatic posturing got tiring within about five minutes, and then I was left with an entire set of badly played material performed spastically to a very forgiving (or maybe just deaf) audience. Mind you, I actually like Relationship of Command (the album At the Drive In was touring for), but live, they were one truly lame band. That goofy level of over performance is so thinly veiled as being a cover for some level of incompetence that I tend to turn off fairly quickly in the face of it. Darkest Hour ended up coming off as metalcore cheerleaders. Who wants that? Write a fucking song that matters.

Finally it was At the Gates. ATG officially broke up in 1997 to splinter off into other projects, so it was like a dream come true for their fans when they announced they would reform just to play a one-off farewell tour. Best of all? They have no intention of cashing in on their past by trying to rehash whatever it was they had ten years ago. No new album, and no watered down attempts to revive the beast. They just wanted to do it because they thought it would be fun (and get paid, sure).

So when they took the stage they did so with authority. And you know what I realized? I realized a couple of things. First off I re-realized just how much I love going to see metal live. In fact, I would choose a metal show over just about any other show any day (save maybe for a good free jazz show). Metal is just so fun to see and hear live. Beyond that, there is a different vibe to the crowd at these shows. Meatheads? Oh god yes, in droves. But these meatheads are more fun loving than your standard indie-rock shoegazer crowd.

Am I oversimplifying? Well, duh.

So, the other thing I realized was that At the Gates were universes above the lion’s share of bands I have seen in my life at punk rock shows. Plus, the show went off without a hitch. The bands were all professional: on and off the stage within minutes. The show started at about 8:30 and was over at somewhere around midnight. It was a real pleasure to watch the Swedes with the identical twin brothers showing people how it is supposed to be done. They brought material from every single album they released and they played it beautifully.

So, a great night, a great show, and I had a blast.

Best of luck to my friends Chris and Amanda as they make their way back home and out of this swamp. And a special thanks to Chris for turning me on to At the Gates, and Opeth, and also for listening to my nonsense for the many hours we blew at work talking about the shit that makes life bearable.

And to the rest of you, be careful and be thoughtful. There are worlds in those words. Explore them.

The Pitchfork Festival - an overview.

Hi there. I'm posting for Conor tonight, here in Chicago, where it's technically midnight so therefore Monday. I'm on a porch with Conor, Kilian, and our frequent commenter Ignatius. Why am I posting instead of Conor if we're both here at the same time? Good question.

Anyway, I missed Saturday entirely, but of what I saw Friday and Sunday Pitchfork is a well run and worthwhile festival. A couple highlights:

1. Public Enemy - not just for them performing IT TAKES A NATION OF MILLIONS TO HOLD US BACK but also for Flavor Flav's rants, including his repeated references to the album's title as "It Takes A Nation Of A Million To Hold Us Back". And also their ending career-spanning medley, from obvious hits to nice surprises like the title track from "He Got Game" and their recent, unexpectedly awesome single "Harder Than You Think":



2. HEALTH - I've raved about this album before, and they were indeed as awesome live as I hoped.

3. The Dodos - I knew nothing about them, and in a way they remind me of HEALTH's mellow melodic younger brother, still relying on beds of rhythm with precise shift points. It's beautiful.

4. Bon Iver - A bit frustrating because of sound bleed from Spiritualized's set, overcrowding, and some assholes in front of me who I will hate for as long as I can remember them, which hopefully will be not very long. But the entire audience singing along to "The Wolves (Act I + II)" as the band descended into chaos will stick with me.

5. The Numero Group: I discovered this reissue label in the merch tent, and although I have yet to listen to any of the CDs I bought, I was impressed by the diversity, depth, and packaging of their releases.

6. All the random friends that I managed to catch up with during this show. A special shout-out to Henry Mayer, whose band Undertow has recently put out a new CD that provided the driving soundtrack for today and is very good.

There was of course lots of other good stuff. You want to know more? You'll get it Wednesday, as Ignatius brings an all weekend, blow-by-blow account of the weekend. Or so I promise on behalf of him. Now I return to hanging out with these folks on a porch. Pass the tequila.

my four year old brain

when i was little, until i was old enough to join them, i used to watch my parents play in the orchestra. it was often a treat because it was usually past my bedtime. i am pretty sure i remember using some of that time to explore delta high school's stairwells and make forts under the bandroom risers. but i also spent a considerable amount of time watching the rehearsals from the middle of the auditorium in the red velvet-ish seats.

this fascination i have with sound goes all the way back to then. maybe even earlier, but the first true memory i have is from age 4, so that's all i can really verify. i remember wondering why it was that i could look at each player and then hear that instrument. at the time, i thought that there was something magical about actually picking a player that then somehow caused their instrument to be audible. that was how it seemed, anyway. what other explanation could there be? i would close my eyes and hear the ensemble, but the moment i would look at someone, the ensemble could be deconstructed. as i grew older i would start to play more sophisticated games with myself during the rehearsals. i would close my eyes and without opening them navigate around and try to hear individuals without looking at them. this came in very handy later on when i started actually playing in ensembles and needed to listen without seeing.

i still listen this way - navigating and visualizing and exploring. i think this is why it took me so long to get into rock and punk and other genres. maybe i'll think about that for another post.

back to physics...the thing that still blows me away is the fact that music and sound, when it gets to our ears, is nothing more than 1-dimensional (2-D if you count time, which you must), fluctuation about a zero point. and yet, by some unspeakably complicated yet ridiculously effortless mathematical process, our brains can deconvolve out of that 2-dimensional "compression" a hundred or more individual sounds, if they were originally there, and others that are introduced in the combinations. and if you practice and use two ears and high-end audio equipment, you can deconvolve a lot more than that.

the connection between these two senses - aural and visual - is still something that keeps me up at nights and keeps my mind occupied on airplanes (it's always good to have an incessant burning question when one is forced to sit in airplanetubes). why haven't we exploited this more? why are we so far behind when it comes to using the aural and visual together to represent, explore, and convey information? why is audio almost always relegated to conveying "feeling" or "intent" when used together with visual media? why doesn't science use more audio?

i was just on a plane today, and i've been working on my sonification project, so these things are fresh. one of these days i might post a post here that is about actual music you might be interested in, but for now, i'm deep inside my psychoacoustic world.

as an aside, i was also thinking on the plane about microtonal music (still left over from last week's explorations of the harmonic table), and wondering whether anyone had or would ever be able to pull off commercially successful microtonal rock. i couldn't think of any bands that had done this. of course, being on a plane far far above the interwebs, you're forced to wonder longer about things than you otherwise would. when i got to my hotel tonight i googled microtonal rock. this led me quickly to this website that confused me greatly. is there a direct connection between microtonal music and all of these topics down the left side of the page?

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yikes. the best part of this little investigation, though, was discovering that my friend elaine walker's band, zia is mentioned in the "microtonalism in rock music" section on the microtonal music wiki page. a couple years ago she made a music video up on devon island, where i will be going next sunday.

there were some other bands mentioned on that page that i'm sure most of you are familiar with, so i probably don't need to post links. from what i can tell, microtonal rock seems to be one of those things that is kind of a cool idea, but not all that great to listen to unless interlaced with considerable doses of normal 12-tone stuff. does anyone know of any exceptions in rock?

as another aside, i had dinner with justin saturday night at chuy's in houston. we sat outside, where they were playing a pretty standard classic rock mix. these are my favorite moments with justin because we play the game wherein he tries to help me guess the song that is playing, about which, of course, he knows everything. during our roughly one-hour dinner session, he knew every single band and song except one allman brothers song (without lyrics), but he figured it out pretty quickly on his fancy new iphone. the game is made much more entertaining by my stunning lack of familiarity with this genre (see above for a clue about what i was doing instead of listening to classic rock in the 70s and 80s). for instance, he had to tell me that the singer was steve perry before i could name journey as the band. and the only other bands i got were elton john (rocket man, for obvious reasons) and the rolling stones (because i recognized mick jagger's voice, not because i could recognize the song "painted black").

this got me to thinking - is there a way we could have a "name that tune" contest virtually on the NAP? cuz i'm pretty sure justin would win. and i'm pretty sure i would lose.

Maybe the birds are on tape.

The last verse of Rod Stewart’s bodice-ripping hit “Do You Think I’m Sexy” has been bugging the shit out of me. It’s not so much the way he turns the song into a Capra-esque romance. Rod is an “Every Picture Tells a Story” kind of guy — his songs typically resolve into tight, treacly narratives (even “Hot Legs” doesn’t escape this tendency). And it’s not that the song is terrible, though it surely is.

Nope. What bugs me is the pure wrongness of the last verse and a half.

They catch a cab to his high rise apartment
At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant

His heart's beating like a drum
'Cause at last he's got his girl home
Relax, baby, now we are alone

They wake at dawn 'cause all the birds are singing
Two total strangers but that ain't what they're thinking
Outside it's cold, misty and it's raining
They got each other, neither one's complaining
He say's I'm sorry but I'm out of milk and coffee
Never mind, sugar, we can watch the early movie

Now, I’ve never lived in a high-rise apartment, but I wonder whether I could be woken by birds singing well below my windows. And are birds big singers when it’s “cold, misty and it’s raining”?

Really, it’s bad enough that birds are getting all Disney the morning after a hookup. But the added details aren’t supporting the narrative; it’s enough to ruin a perfectly horrible disco song.

Stand Back

When I took this job I thought it was going to be a step up from the one I was doing at the time. I was sorting mail and answering phones sometimes and taking on real responsibility seemed like the path to stability. You know, anybody can answer phones, so I thought it was only a matter of time before they found somebody that would do it cheaper. I liked the hours, I guess, and the fact that I didn't have to worry about anything at the end of the day. Once I was done, I was done. But now I fill out these forms all day.

It's mindnumbingly dull work. I have to gather all the sales information, the discounts, and the shipping costs and enter all of them in these forms. Most of the time I'm not even sure I'm doing it right. Nobody ever showed me how to do it. I mean, sure, my boss sat down with me for an hour on my first day and showed me all the buttons I need to push to get started, but everything else I had to figure out by myself. I just made a little system to help me remember where everything is and so far nobody has complained.</