Maybe the birds are on tape.

The last verse of Rod Stewart’s bodice-ripping hit “Do You Think I’m Sexy” has been bugging the shit out of me. It’s not so much the way he turns the song into a Capra-esque romance. Rod is an “Every Picture Tells a Story” kind of guy — his songs typically resolve into tight, treacly narratives (even “Hot Legs” doesn’t escape this tendency). And it’s not that the song is terrible, though it surely is.

Nope. What bugs me is the pure wrongness of the last verse and a half.

They catch a cab to his high rise apartment
At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant

His heart's beating like a drum
'Cause at last he's got his girl home
Relax, baby, now we are alone

They wake at dawn 'cause all the birds are singing
Two total strangers but that ain't what they're thinking
Outside it's cold, misty and it's raining
They got each other, neither one's complaining
He say's I'm sorry but I'm out of milk and coffee
Never mind, sugar, we can watch the early movie

Now, I’ve never lived in a high-rise apartment, but I wonder whether I could be woken by birds singing well below my windows. And are birds big singers when it’s “cold, misty and it’s raining”?

Really, it’s bad enough that birds are getting all Disney the morning after a hookup. But the added details aren’t supporting the narrative; it’s enough to ruin a perfectly horrible disco song.