Fly the Flag at Half Mast, Lord, We’re Marching Straight to Hell

1)The deal went down at the end of a dirt road in the middle of a fallow field. I had been promised that everything would be just fine, that he knew them, that they were okay. We brought cash in a brown paper bag. They drove up, kept their headlights in our faces, and [...]

The Ballad of Kanye Worst or Why MTV Doesn’t Care About Black People

The celebrity universe is one filled with mammoth egos so utterly disproportionate to the wade pool of talent from which they all must so starvingly draw. Trying to grasp the scope of emptiness in the upper echelons of fame would be an exercise in futility, likened to understanding what a beach is by counting [...]

The King and His Credenza

My wife is the kind of woman who is always on some sort of mission. Something burns her from somewhere deep within, and she has no hope but to heed the call. It is exactly this sort of slavish devotion to her inner demons that I think is so funny about her makeup. I [...]